Raw Beckham

Posh will soon star in ads for Marc Jacobs--shot, of course, by Juergen Teller.
The campaign has already been shot, and includes images of Beckham jumping out of a box, one with her head in a bag, and another of her posed by her tacky monogrammed hubcaps.
Teller's photos are harshly-lit, the models minimally styled and even less Photoshopped. It's surprising that such a plastic would subject herself to his lens. I'm impressed.


Shoes, Mexicans, etc.

Wonderfully odd UK shoe label Irregular Choice is launching a line of clothes in February. The company has also collaborated with designers Heatherette and the creepy doll makers of Blythe on special collections.
If you have a really rich boyfriend, you can have this slutty collagen-lip chick tell him to buy you that $5,000 purse for Christmas via email. Totally useful, right? (*barf*)
They opened a Saks in Mexico. No word on whether the poncho department gets it's own floor.
Kiki Dunst: The new face of Miu Miu. I'm not sure if this is a better or worse choice than Lohan. A way more suitable choice: MK Olsen. Total no-brainer, right?
"The babydoll dress is dead," said a snobby shop-twat at a snobby fashion party to a New York Times reporter.
The point of the article was that fitted dresses are replacing a-lines, shifts and bubble dresses as the latest trend. Which is great, and true. But sorry, lady-- no cut as forgiving as the babydoll will ever go out of style with women who like to eat.

Another Naked Pregger

I'm not going to say anything mean about this... today. What I'd like to point out is the amazing taupe leather jacket. It would look really, really cute with a nice SWEATER under it. White, cashmere, cowl neck, you know?
But don't be confused. Colored leather is a NO in anything but neutrals. Even if you're a hooker.


Topshop NYC: September 2008

A rendering of the flagship Topshop location in SoHo, NYC, one of three NYC locations planned.

It's coming! 478 Broadway in SoHo. And they're going nationwide after that. Vegas, Miami, Boston and the west coast are on the list already.

Twiggy Leaves ANTM

Next season, don't look for Twiggy at panel during America's Next Top Model. She won't be on Cycle 10 because of "scheduling conflicts" (granny need to go to bed early?)
Her replacement will be 80's hottie Paulina Porizkova, best known as the wife of one of the fugliest lead singers of all time, The Cars' Ric Ocasek. That, and her crap-tastic performance on "Dancing With the Stars."
I'll miss Twigs, she's pretty adorable, but the real loss remains Janice Dickinson, whose bizarre behavior and surgical evolution made the show 10x more fun to watch. My guess is Paulina will be intelligent and serious. In reality TV terms, boring.

Small Bites

So, Marc Jacobs told New York Magazine he wants his own reality show. Drugs + hair dye + revolving gold-digging rentboys + anal sex? Paris Hilton might sue for infringement, but I'd watch. Would you?
First her robot haircut and now her robot dress. Why do women want to copy Posh Beckham? I can only imagine pig-nose rhinoplasty is next.
Does The Costume Institute want my asinine comments? I'm willing to find out.
God, just when they started making panties that fit properly, I have to boycott this asshole company. Four cents an hour? I'd feel better if I could just adopt one of these ladies and maker her my personal panty-maker. One pair a day is all I ask. And I don't slap (often.)


Guess Without Googling

Who is this?!
(God, I love POP Magazine's covers... )

Bad Teeth, But Better Sense

The British Fashion Council gave out their awards last night. Fascinating. Dame Vivienne Westwood won something, again. Model of the Year? Kate, of course.
I poked around on the BFC site (nice design, btw) for the first time today and came across the results of an independent study they asked a panel-- including model Erin O'Connor, 29, (her UK Vogue blog here) and last year's "Designer of the Year" Giles Deacon -- to put together regarding weight issues in the industry. A poll they commissioned revealed that 27 percent of models say they were under 16 when they did their first show, and 12.5 percent under 15. All because the standard is getting too skinny for even mid to upper teens to achieve. 71 percent say they see the trend going thinner and thinner. Gross.
As a result of these findings, a ban was implemented by the BFC this year barring girls under 16 from modeling adult fashion on the runways during London Fashion Week, attempting to curb the projection of the unattainable prepubescent frame as ideal.
I popped over to the Council of Fashion Designers of America's site to see if we did anything similar in New York. The issue isn't so much as mentioned, while the BFC site even had links to eating disorder education resources and programs.
Yep. Americans may be the fattest people in the world, but we sure do hate ourselves the most for it! Bring on the underdeveloped 4th graders...

Under $50

Just a few inexpensive ways to get festive with red (...without jingle bell earrings.)
Groovy Gal 2, $12.74

LuLu, $48

Forever 21, $19.80


Marimekko's Spring Fling with H&M

Next April H&M is releasing a capsule collection using prints from Finnish textile designer Marimekko (see the WWD article). Unexpected! But exciting. It might be their best designer collection yet. Which I suppose wouldn't be hard after Lagerfelds Liza Minelli-inspired horror show, Stella McCartney's "meh" collection, and Cavalli's recent mishmash of shit and glory.

If you're unaware of Marimekko, it's hardly demure:

I hope they go for some of the more avant-garde, illustrative prints (like the freaky panda head.) The loud, mod patterns are great, but how much longer can mod stay in the mainstream? I'm dying for H&M to take a risk the way Target's Go designers have. As I always say: It's better to suggest a high waisted pant with a giant bow to some mid-western college girl named Denise, than to never have tried at all...

And for the crafty, you can purchase Marimekko fabric here at Repro Depot. (It's pricy as hell, so if you're a beginner, maybe you should hold off.)


$650 Pussy

Let me preface this post: I know. I'm a total loser for being 27 and not Asian and loving Hello Kitty. It's obnoxious-- borderline lunchbox purse obnoxious-- but I just can't help it.
That's how I ended up on the Sanrio site today, where I discovered their new collection by handbag designer Rebecca Minkoff. And in it, this ugly ass bag (with a cute lining, sure) selling for $650! Wtf?I hope it at least comes with a free pair of matching orthopedic shoes.


The Ladies J

The NY Times just ran this article about Andre J., the 28-year-old "I dress like a lady but don't call me a transvestite" male model who famously appeared with Carolyn Murphy on the November cover of French Vogue. Is it just me, or is he a total knockoff of Miss J from America's Next Top Model? Just askin...

Andre J. (photo by Bruce Weber)

Jay "Miss J" Alexander


S Factor by TIGI: 3 New Hits

My close friend Sissy B., a licenced senior stylist and makeup artist for an exclusive salon, (predictably) has a nose for good products. Earlier this year she introduced me to S Factor, TIGI's new premium line of hair products. So far, we've tried and used several S Factor products , and haven't been disappointed. Here's the word on their 3 newest releases...

Silky Smooth Moisture Serum (About $20)
A light, silky serum that smells like fresh, tart apples (not heavy or overly sweet-- just crisp and pleasant.)
My non-expert opinion: S Factor products are "designed for all hair types. " Having baby-fine hair, I'm leery of such claims, especially in a serum. I'm also color-processed, so my hair tangles easily. Used both wet and dry, this stuff managed to soften my snarls for easy styling, and left no heaviness or slimy residue.
Sissy B. said: Great! It feels like it's going to be heavy in your hand, but once you comb it through damp hair, the hair sucks it right up. Makes for a quicker blow-dry. Hair feels really soft but not weighed down. And it smells great, like apples and pears.

Vivacious Hairspray (About $26)
A medium hold hairspray that smells faintly like sweet coconut.
My non-expert opinion:
Dries instantly, so leaves no time to manipulate the hair once it's on. However, makes for a great finishing spray for when you have your hair exactly how you want it. Hold lasted for hours, and kept me completely free of fly-aways, which I am prone to thanks to aforementioned baby-fine hair.
Sissy B. said: It's alright. You have to press really hard on the nozzle to get it to come out. It's definitely a strong hold-- wherever you spray it it will stay and crispify your head. Would be perfect for an updo, or if your hair can't hold a curl... shoot a curl with this and it WILL stay. I use it anyway because I like the smell, I just hold it really high over my head and swirl it.

Body Booster (About $24)
A sweet-smelling, hair-plumping, root-lifting spray.
My non-expert opinion: Bulked up my limp hair instantly, without sacrificing flexibility and movement. Does the job. Not my favorite scent.
Sissy B. said: My hair is big enough. (Which is true, so she didn't try it.)

Older but still the FAVORITE of both Sissy and I is their Heat Defender Flat Iron Spray (About $28). Yummiest smelling of the lot, and leaves hair shining like glass even after a fierce bout (or 18 million yanks) with a flat iron. I first tried this when my hair was bleach-damaged and dull, and a few spritzes left me believing in miracles.

Click here to find out where S Factor is sold near you.


Let the Holiday Sales Begin

Steve Madden is having a huge sale on a great selection of trendy and classic pumps right now. By huge sale I don't mean dirt cheap, most are between $50 and $100, but Madden shoes are comfortable, well-made and definitely withstand many a drunken stumble home. (Plus free shipping on $75+)

Some of my over-the-top large detail faves:

Wardrobe- $71.96 (also in black, red)
Conspire- $71.96 (also in black, beige)
Chavela- $71.96 (also in black, brown, purple)

And the classic must-have:

Excitte - $47.96 (also in patent, brown)


Bestselling Goth-or?

Everyone thinks they can write the book on style, it seems. Just recently we've seen guides from Posh Beckham, Rachael Zoe, and next up... burlesque superstar Dita VonTeese (a.k.a. Heather Renee Sweet).
According to WWD, VonTeese has something in the works for late 2008:
"I wanted a rule-breaking beauty book that's about retro glamour and eccentric makeup — a book that teaches you how to put it on," said Von Teese."
She's a self-created style icon (thats no stylist, no makeup and hair brigade) so though the costumey pinup steeze ain't my bag, I have respect for her. She does an excellent job putting herself together, dodging the mainstream while still looking age and event-appropriate. She also seems (aside from that whole marriage thing with Marilyn Manson) pretty bright. This could be an essential how-to book for vintage divas worldwide. We shall see.

Spring 2008: Jovovich-Hawk For Target!


How the hell did I miss this LA Times report?! I guess I just wasn't paying attention to the press for "Resident Evil 18" or whatever.
Milla Jovovich and fellow model Carmen Hawk's fashion line Jovovich-Hawk will debut their Go:International collection for Target this coming spring!
A quote from the article:
"Our Target line will have all our classic pieces: smock dresses, tunics, minis, all vintage-inspired, great prints," Jovovich said.
Jovovich has always had a great, very "off" sense of fashion. She's either crochet babushka, WWII-era everygirl, or futuristic red-carpet sex robot. This line should be interesting. Her Holiday 2007 collection looks very wearable...

(Screen cap from )

REMINDER: Erin Fetherston's Target collection hits stores this Sunday. So much as touch the size 4s and you're asking for it.


Look Cheap for Cheaper: Field Does Payless

Patricia Field is the trash-fabulous designer responsible for every absurd thing Carrie Bradshaw ever Sexed the City in. She also looks like Ronald McDonald's slutty older sister, which I kind of love her for. Anyway, she recently teamed up with Mattel to create a line of Barbie accessories for adults. They're rather boring-- just bags emblazoned with the barbie silhouette and tees stamped with the Barbie logo-- but while I was on the site I came across her designs for Payless. And these $40 pumps are cute:Apparently she designed herself a similar pair and wore them to the 2007 Oscars.

"Like She Was Pooing Fabric"

That's how ever-insightful "expert" Heidi Klum described the stretchy disaster that famed avant-garde artist and Vogue-acclaimed designer Elisa Jimenez sent down the catwalk last night on the premiere episode of Project Runway Season 4.

Now, I'm all about the sewn-on-the body roll-stitched look with stretch cotton jersey. In fact, I worked for a friend of Elisa's a few years ago who used similar construction methods. But anyone with both eyes knew that thing she made was a piece of shit. So I take back all concerns that she would so far surpass the competition that it would be unfair to the others. I believe she was only kept on the show last night because she's weird.
In fact, my good friend and I agreed that the casting on the show looks like it will ultimately be it's demise. This season, everyone is far too established a professional already, and they're starting to cast "roles" similar to the Real World now. Theres The fat gay guy, The Asian hipster chick, The tearful ' bottom,' The punk rocker, The old hag nobody likes, The flamboyant gay Hispanic, The Omarosa... it goes on. We liked the show for its looser formula, the range of artsy weirdos they attracted. I'm thinking maybe people aren't trying out the way they used to, knowing how little it does for their careers.
The only thing still truly entertaining on the show is hamster-bitch Michael Kors' comments and looks of disgust during judging.
Last nights most innovative and well executed, according to me? Kit Pistol's.

You can vote your opinion here.


Cruel: Not Cool

As a mother of three Humane Society and Animal Rescue League shelter-adopted furballs, the sight of real animal fur on anything but the living breathing creature itself triggers in me a reflex of nausea. Still, though I believe in their cause, PETA's extremist tactics too closely resemble terrorism and I think they do more harm than good in terms of rallying support.
I'm all about The Humane Society of the United States, who do a great Cool vs. Cruel fashion design competition every year to draw positive attention to compassionate designers who preserve life by going faux. This year Tim Gunn himself was a judge.

First place: Jolie Benner of Portland, OR Second: Nathan Carter of Ft. Lauderdale, FL Third: Julia An of Seattle, WA People's Choice: Stephanie Womack of Dallas, TX
You can check out all the entries here.
(Images: Seventh House PR)

Also on their site they offer a list of retailers and designers who do not use real fur in their designs:
Abercrombie & Fitch, American Eagle, Ann Taylor, Anthropologie, Ashley Paige, Banana Republic, Benjamin Cho, Betsey Johnson, Burton Snowboards, Carhartt, Champs Sports, Charlotte Russe, Club Monaco, Coldwater Creek, Columbia Sportswear Company, Delia's, Dollhouse, Duckie Brown, Eastbay, Eddie Bauer, Eileen Fisher, Esprit, Express, Footaction, Foot Locker, Forever 21, Gant, The Gap, Inc., H&M, Hollister, J, Crew, J, Jill, Jay McCarroll, Katharine Hamnett, Kenneth Cole, Limited Brands, Linda Loudermilk, Lucky Brand Jeans, Madewell, Marc Bouwer, Mountain Hardware, Nicole Miller, Old Navy, Pacific Trail, Patagonia, Paul Frank, Piperlime, Polo Ralph Lauren, PrAna, REI, Richard Chai, RRL, Rugby, Sorel, Stella McCartney, The Talbots, Inc., The Limited, Todd Oldham, Timberland, Topshop, Uniqlo, Urban Outfitters, Vans, Victoria Bartlett/VPL, Victoria's Secret, Zara.

* Calvin Klein , Guess/Marciano, Tommy Hilfiger all swear they will go faux by Spring 2008.

Thanksgiving is a week from Thursday, so if you're feeling thankful for that special natural, rightful fur-owner in your life (past or present!), think about making a donation today.


Unpleasant Smells

As you know, every celebrity and their mother has a fragrance these days.
Women, m
en, and even lowbrow lit and television are in on the game.

But I bet you didn't know ...
* Geriatric farce-rockers KISS have their own fragrances for men and women. The cologne is described as "a spicy-warm scent featuring notes of lavender, anise and amber." Not sweat, grease makeup and Ben-Gay as one might guess. A jug of it sells for under $20.

*Marilyn Manson said he would be launching his own fragrance a couple of years ago. However, as with most of his public statements, this seems to have been just another cheap grab for unwarranted attention by the alcoholic child molester. There's nothing on the market yet.

* Loveable crackhead Paula Abdul is supposedly in development of a new fragrance, which she plans to call "Sexy Thoughts." I love the name not only for it's lack of creativity, but because it forces one to imagine what a sexy thought in Paula Abdul's mind might be. (Personally, I see her getting a sensual back massage from the animated cat from her "Opposites Attract" video.)
This is an actual quote she gave Access Hollywood on the subject this summer:
"In the middle of coming up with my fragrance line, I asked the question, 'By any chance do you have anything that smells like cat pee, and cow poop and, like, farts?' I want to put those elements - the cat pee, the horse poop and fart - in a bottle..."
Oh. My god. Is all I can say about that. I just checked the Firmenich site and-- what a surprise--she doesn't seem to have anything in production.

* My favorite of all is one by the hyper-talented gay actor Alan Cumming (one of my more memorable NYC celeb sightings-- he winked at me) who named his scent... Cumming.


Not Invited

This Women's Wear Daily article on audience dress codes for the Tyra, Oprah and Rachael Ray shows is pretty funny. I know at least two people must be pissed about the "extreme hair" ban...

Perez HiltonMarc Jacobs

I bet they were dying to get into Tyra's vagina episode this past Monday.


Bird's the Word

To highlight the recent feather trend, kindly compiled for us a slideshow of feather-themed items and accessories, all deemed "must-haves."
But because I know you're not an idiot, and you wouldn't dream of spending $775 on an antique ostrich-feather fan, I've gone ahead and hunted down for you a more reasonable flock of feather fabulousness:

Feather bracelet, $9.99 and Headband, $9.99

Feather necklace by blissjewelry, $25.95

Glass feather pendant by AardvArt, $23.99

Feather tee by Tiffany Malkooti, $19.99

Peacock feather earrings, $12

Feather fedora, $68

But you know, if you really do want that fan, I did find one for $42 on

For those of you who have a creative bone in your body, this site can also help you feather up your own style.