Five Things That Happened in 2007

Mod went Mainstream - With her daring chop job for "Factory Girl," Sienna Miller dusted off one of American history's most fashionable drug addicts: Edie Sedgewick. Non-hipsters suddenly knew who she was (yeah, Im lookin' at you Mary Kate), as Miller and fellow PYTs started rocking tent dresses, black tights, horizontal stripes and cropped swing jackets. The trickle-down was rapid, and by this winter H&M's print campaign included a model looking rather conspicuously Sienna-as-Edie.
For those of us who already emulated the look, it meant easier shopping-- i.e. no longer having to eBay battle with some Canadian broad over a vintage cocktail shift, not having to rummage at Goodwill.
For the rest of the world, it meant you had the option of eating (thank you, tent dress!) or totally not (um, leggings.)
Just one smidge of advice based on observation: Don't wear a tent dress if you have giant jugs.
PHOTO: Marcio Mardiera
The New Black was Blue Again, Then Gray - Deep blues took over the smoky eye this year, giving the classic eyeshadow-based look a nice eye-brightening kick. Grays swooped in by fall to reign as the choice neutral for apparel and footwear. Grey wools and suedes, in particular.
Mineral Makeup - Everyone in drugstore land came out with their version this year. I tried Neutrogena's powder formula, and Maybelline's new liquid formula. Neither actually evened my skin tone. What was the big benefit supposed to be again?
I'm pretty sure most things you can wipe on your face, besides battery acid and french fry grease, don't really have much effect on it. I've yet to be sold on this trend. (Here's what Web MD says.)
Grey Ant jeans
Raising of the Waist - Suddenly everyone from Grey Ant to Delia's is selling a high-waised jean, whether it's in a wide leg or a skinny jean (both so very 1970's-- though I prefer the wide leg.) Is anyone buying them besides me? For the look to work you pretty much need to be thin. Good examples: here and here. VERY bad example: Moo. (Sorry, I just hate her. Tom Waits covers?! Also, check out this post on Jezebel- hits the nail on the head.) One word of advice if you choose to go with it: DO NOT do it without some kind of a heel on.
Guess who...
Bobs and Bangs - Everyone got one of them. Some idiots got both and now look like they have wigs on.
I prefer bangs on most people, in some form or another. Nothing is uglier than a big ol' unnecessary forehead in the face. Except maybe a greasy one. Speaking of! I discovered these great oil blotting sheets in a weird Japanese store this year called Blue Magic. They are indeed, both blue AND magic. I can't find them anywhere on the internet, hence no link.


Commence "Best of" Filler

This is the time of year where all publications patch the vacation news-lull with "Best of" and "Top" lists slapped together by hungover, jetlagged writers with stale cookie crumbs in their laptops. In the realm of style, the focus is settling on designer TV cameos, model demographics and "going green."
The operator of this cookie-encrusted keyboard is going in a different direction. I'm broke, cynical and my social relevance is only signaled by the scrap of regard 22 year old cokeheads give me on the rare occasions I exit the house in something other than pajama pants covered in cat hair. Things like Tom Ford's naked ass in Out Magazine do not register in my retrospective.
Over the next few days you'll see what did.


"He Went to Jared!"

Rude jewelry is the new ironic t-shirt.
Check out designer Tom Binns, a fave of the Olsens. If anyone finds a knockoff of his $300-something "flying fuck" necklace (genius) PLEASE point me in it's direction.
Another favorite: The Ronald Reagan medallion with "cunt" spelled out over it in gold.
I wonder if he'll customize?


WTF of the Day

Naomi Campbell has a new job- she an investigative journalist.
The violent, high-school educated glamazon already interviewed Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez for British GQ, and she's already been to Cuba working on her interview with Fidel Castro.
(How awkward do you think it was when she mistook Chavez for her limo driver Pepe and told him to wait in the fucking car?)
Anyway, she's planning on chatting with French President Nicholas Sarkozy in the next year as well. I'm betting that hinges on whether she was nice to his new girlfriend, ex-Supermodel (now folk singer) Carla Bruni, back in the 1990s, when their catwalk heydays overlapped. Shut her down, Carla. Shut that bitch DOWN.

P.S.-- Have you ever heard any of Carla Bruni's music? Pretty great.


Bad Clothes for a Good Cause

The Good Charlotte Shit Factory: Now Making Clothes (Photo: H&M)

This spring (February in Europe, no word on when it hits the US) H&M will be raising AIDS awareness with an assortment of stuff designed by celebs (mostly pop musicians.) The entire collection, which will also be made of organic cotton, will bear tags that read: "This might be the most important piece of clothing you've ever had your hands on." A quarter of the profits will be donated to YouthAIDS.
A few of the designers: My Chemical Romance, The Scissor Sisters, Rihanna, Rufus Wainwright, Jade Jagger, Timbaland and Good Charlotte.
I know it's for charity and all, but when is it ever a good idea to give famous people a box of crayons and let them "design" things? Good Charlotte's work is, as expected, a total Hot Topic embarrassment. (I'm sure My Chemical Romance will only lower the bar in that same category.) And Timbaland apparently couldn't come up with anything more interesting than a picture of his own head. (See em on, where I first read it.)
But Jade Jagger, who I'm tempted to slam just cause she's celebuspawn, has some genuine talent. She's always been a great jewelry designer, and it looks like her creations will be the most acceptable. Though I'm definitely still looking for something in neon mesh with the nipples cut out from the Scissor Sisters.

Fast and Easy

Has fucking on the third date become such the standard that Nicole Miller's lingere ad ( for her '3rd Date Collection') makes sense?
I'd love to see the ads for a '1st Date Collection.' Two words: Crotchless. Panties.


SATC Wardrobe A Who's Who

What will the Golden Girls Sex and the City sluts be wearing in the upcoming movie? That's a question the fashion media is scrambling to answer lately, in hopes of being the first to nail down and trumpet a trend.
On the movie set, $20 million in jewels and couture wardrobe required security to be quadrupled.
What I want to know is, how many of the brands who payed, begged and BJed their way into the SATC closet really believe they'll be emptying shelves based on this placement? Does anyone really give a fuck what a bunch of neurotic 50 year olds are zipping up over their Spanx?
Granted, Carrie Bradshaw has kicked off a trend or two in her day. But the bulk of the money is made by the companies knocking off the million dollar look.
Too bad this movie comes out on the heels of a huge counterfeit bust that shut down Canal Street's thriving knockoff business. It's truly a loss of the great equalizer, isn't it? No matter how much some uptown bitch spent on a Louis Vuitton purse, Shenequah from Queens still had one that looked just like it sitting in the break room at Taco Bell.
And that, to me, made things right in the world.

Menswear Moment

Looks like starving French fashion alien Hedi Slimane is in talks once again to have his own label. The renowned menswear designer had a bad breakup with Dior Homme last year, and dropped previous negotiations concerning a line in his own name last spring. If and when he does, I'll be sure to check Filene's Basement 5 seasons later for the castoffs. (As if my boyfriend knows the difference.) Gay Skeletor makes a mean suit.


Bravo Beats A Crippled Horse

Make Me A Supermodel, hosted by personality-deficient D list models Nikki Taylor and Tyson Beckford, premieres on Bravo Thursday, January 10 at 10 p.m.
With America's Next Top model waning pitifully despite Tyra going apeshit crazy every episode, it seems foolish to bite their premise and then go 99 cent bin on the talent. Nikki Taylor? She wasn't even interesting when she was working!
Apparently these models win or lose American Idol-style, based on audience voting.
Some highlights from the models' bios:
Lee- Had a "rough childhood", works at 7-11 (I see tears at judging)
Kate- Owns 10 parrots
Karol- Recently lost 35 pounds of muscle by eating excessive amounts of sugar (this is listed as a goal he has achieved)
Frankie- Has a bad habit of driving with his feet.
Aryn- Is a 5th grade teacher, also works at Hooters

Green Jeans for Target?

(Photos: Ads for Rogan Gregory's "socially responsible" fashion line Edun)

Women's Wear Daily reported today that American denim designer Rogan Gregory has created a Target collection. Whether it is for their Go! International program or another project remains unclear.
Gregory is the creative force behind several fashion lines: Rogan Jeans (upwards of $300, Madonna loves them), Loomstate (organic clothing), A Litl' Betr (love this line) and a "fashion with a cause" collaboration with Bono called Edun (fair-trade focused, organic fabrics.)


Lancome's Color Magician Moves On

Gorgeous celebrity/high fashion makeup artist Gucci Westman is leaving her post as Lancome's International Artistic Director. Most of the runway-fabulous products she created for Lancome (they teamed up in 2003) have been inspired by her ongoing work backstage with the big designers.
Her final color collection, L.U.C.I. and a new lipstick called Thakoon Pout-A-Porter will be released this coming spring.
You can expect to hear all about them right here. (While my boyfriend hacks through the bathroom with a machete to get through my ever expanding makeup stash.)

Small Bites

* Put Beckham's balls in your manties, and the rest will follow. At least 30 percent, anyway. (WWD, second item)
* Are we really going to put the words "clown" and "chic" together? No. Sorry but no we're not. (
* Hey famous people! We caught you getting the mail in your sweatpants while we were stalking you, and you shall be judged accordingly. (US
* Marc Jacobs took a stand against a serious fashion felony this holiday season. (Not that being gay doesn't already show enough disdain for the vag. ) (Elle UK)
* PETA: Pro- animal, anti-troll.


Feathered, Friends

As I've mentioned before, the feather accessory trend is gathering steam. My favorite, though totally Pocahontas/art teacher, are the earrings. Especially in black, they're like a homage to Joan Jett's hair. Check these out:



(Image: H&M, Illustrator: Moa Lindqvist Bartling)

This is the one preview H&M has released so far for their collaboration with the Finnish textile designers at Marimekko. I'm feeling a little "meh" about the color palette here. It's so 70's patio furniture, and I feel like Urban Outfitters killed that about five years ago.
In theory, this pairing could be amazing. Here's hoping this was just a poor choice for the preview.

Saleisha: America's Next Mildly Successful Commercial Model

The most boring season ever of America's Next Top Model came to an end tonight with a walk-off between Texas Barbie and one of the mushrooms from Super Mario brothers, during which Barbie knocked a tiny Chinese man off his stilts. (Was it just me or was there no one in the audience but the panel?!)
Predictably, they chose the one who fit Cover Girl marketing's vision, and neither of the two freaks actually fit for high fashion (Heather, Jenah). Like they always do. (Uh-- notice when Danielle won they had just released Queen Latifah's collection? Mmmhmm...)
No one was as inoffensive as smiley little Saleisha. And they're right, she could totally sell me cute things like lipgloss, tampons and stickers. She's so happy she probably farts Skittles. And she did turn it out a couple of times. (Ain't no denying it-- this is is fierce.) But don't go looking for her in the Paris shows this spring. Neva. Gonna. Happen.
P.S. How cold was it for Tyra to break Jenah down like Dr. Phil and then 2 min later tell her to get out of China? I would have slapped her weave sideways.

Andy Dandy

Bags, clothes.
The Andy Warhol people are licensing left and right. Next up is a line by Pepe Jeans of London (which I refuse to wear because of the inevitability of some douchebag honestly asking why your jeans say peepee on them... which I admit is a weakness of character.)
Accessories are fine. T-shirts are cute. But wtf are they going to do with jeans? The needle on my tacky-meter is already quivering. They'll be out this coming fall.


Like That Artist Guy

Yves St. Laurent resort 2008
(Photo: Don Ashby,

The peeps at Neiman Marcus say paint splats are an upcoming trend for spring.
I vote DIY on this one. (Acrylics are your best bet.) Or go all out and get it done by a real kindergartener.

Cause admit it-- your mom was totally right back in the day, when she refused to buy you jeans with holes already in them. Even if they did look just like Debbie Gibson's.

Get Fat and Love It

Redken's latest: Body Full Carbo-Bodifier
For: Baby fine hair
How: Apply foam to towel-dried hair
The word: Insta-wig! It feels like someone added a couple of tracks of weave to my hair, in a good way. Body? Check. Bulk? Check. Soft to the touch? Check. Running your fingers through it? Not so much, but thats about the only caveat. Then again, pit that against your other option -teasing- and it's not a caveat at all. The smell is soft and floral--a clean scent, and just barely noticeable unless you grab a bunch of your hair and sniff it (you weirdo.)
Verdict: Does what it promises. I let my hair air dry and I'm still fluffing it in disbelief at how much more it feels like I have. I can't even imagine the results when you throw a blow dryer into the mix. Also, the added texture helps it stay in an updo, when typically the hair slips right out. A great addition to the fine (don't call it thin!) haired girl's bag of tricks.
Buy: About $17-- your local Redken salon here.


The Rage: Goddesses

Goddess silhouettes and draping have been emerging in small bursts on the racks and runways for a while now, but this fall shows the trend reaching full force. Here's a standard "splurge vs. steal":

Erin Fetherston's runway version
(Photo: Mario Madeira)

viable knockoff:
Marilyn Dress $44.50,

(Photo: Marcio Madeira)

viable knockoff:
One-shoulder Dress, about $76 USD,

The Perfect Purchase

'Tis the season! Here are a few products that share the wealth with a good cause...

Kiss My Face Lip Action lip balm
$1 to The Alliance for Climate Protection
The word: This stuff is FAB. Smooth and light, and lacking the overwhelming, chemical taste of most fruit-flavored glosses. Berry, Mango and Mint were refreshing and probably the best of the flavors. (Eco-Coco is a cute name, but the combination of cocoa and mandarin was a little nauseating.) These balms are completely clear and are relatively matte, so they're a perfect stocking stuffer for that guy whose medicine-reeking ChapStick habit disgusts you. Available exclusively at Whole Foods.

Philosophy has several products where 100% of the gross profit is donated. There are shower gels benefiting the Women's Cancer Research Fund, the Rainforest Foundation and the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation, candles for the Joyful Heart Foundation and PBS, and a room spray for the National Colorectal Cancer Research Alliance (I am trying very hard not to make a joke...)

M.A.C. Viva Glam lipsticks and glosses contribute 100% to the M.A.C. AIDS Fund

*Note: I found a website called Think Before You Pink that discusses some cosmetics companies who are active in fundraising for women's cancers, but some of whose products contain cancer-causing ingredients. Something to think about.
That said (ahem), I'll mention that 10% of the retail price of any L'Oreal Color of Hope lipcolor will benefit the Ovarian Cancer Reasearch Fund.


The Rage: Long Gloves

The Fall 2007 runways launched the look (or re-launched, you could say), but you don't need to spend $400 to give the opera-length glove a whirl. The trend trickled down to the common people via stores like Urban Outfitters and H&M, where you can now nab a leather pair for under $50.

How to: Notice lately all those adorable vintage looking coats with the 3/4 and cropped sleeves, and the little capelets? And you think to yourself WTF, how does your arm stay warm? This is the missing puzzle piece. Juxtaposing "ladylike" and "professional spanker" makes it an interesting and modern look.

First The Posh, Now the Wintour

Bob with Blunt Bangs. Is it okay to rock the triple-B in anything but a wig if you're not a toddler? My feeling is, probably not. Katie's hair looks like it's having her face for lunch. Though, on the other hand, at least part of her is eating...

Daisy Marc Jacobs: Sample Alert

Its impossible to tell by the list of notes in the description what a fragrance really smells like. Marc Jacobs Daisy, which has been a bestseller at Sephora ever since it came out, contains strawberry, violet, ruby red grapefruit, gardenia, jasmine, musk, vanilla and white wood.
I braved the Macy's cosmetics department to find out what the hell that amounts to last weekend, and found it is extremely light and fresh-- the smell of biting into a really crispy apple. Come summer, this one would be perfect-- it might be a little too light for winter.
Nab yourself a free sample on the official Daisy website, HERE.

Sweet Feet

Vanessa, 24, and Angela Simmons, 20, daughters of Run from Run-D.M.C. (and nieces of Phat Farm designer Russel Simmons), are in business. Their company is called Pastry, and the dessert-inspired kicks are reasonably priced (about $65) and totally fit for a teenaged girl. I believe they might actually have picked the styles themselves!
(If you watch the MTV reality show "Run's House" you probably already know about this. But I'm pretty sure no one does.)



According to Women's Wear Daily, tonights Project Runway guest judge is Donna Karan.
(These are shots from her new ad campaign, featuring Kate Moss... who is all wrong for the job.)


Coming Out of the Dark

For maybe the first time ever, I agree with Allure Magazine for placing a product on their Editor's Choice list. I always go through their picks and balk, as I flip to the next page and see a huge ad by the company whose ass they're kissing.
(Seriously. If one more rag tells me Maybelline's pink and green mascara is a "timeless classic" and the best, I'm going to show up at their offices with my lashes dried up and crusty with a coat of that shit on and start yelling about it.)

Anyway, my point is that Benefit's Boi-ing undereye concealer is pretty effective. (Wow, buried that lead, huh?)
The word: At first swipe of the brush or finger, it seems too lightweight to do the job. I'm used to undereye concealers being very thick and soft, and needing to be caked on to hide the dark shadows-- mine, anyway. But it doesn't take much with this stuff, and you can layer it as needed. It stayed on all day without absorbing any of my dark eye makeup the way some creamier concealers do, and really didn't emphasize any wrinkles. Of course, you still see natural creases. (They didn't say it was botox, bitch.) I was amazed to walk in to my office's flourescent-lit bathroom at 4 p.m. and not look like a zombie for once.
At $18, I'd call this a good deal. For about $10 more, its a major upgrade from anything you'll find at the drugstore.