Sola Sandal

Spending two years of my high school career taking Latin independent study has finally paid off.

I'm so stoked about about gladiator sandals. They're like boot-skeletons.

Since winter, I've been preparing myself physically and emotionally for my influx of ankle blisters. I'll let you know if I can be as victorious as Russell "Maximus" Crowe.

For the everyday gladiator, I like this simple look from Urban Outfitters. It's only $48.00, but I would avoid PETA protests before someone in a cow costume veni-vidi-vici's you for wearing leather.


Ashlee's Tees

Ashlee Simpson for Wet Seal, $19.50

Have you seen these Wet Seal monstrosities yet? As a general rule, I don't wear people's faces on my shirts. It's just weird to look at someone's face and look down and see someone else's (if you have boobs or a gut, distorted) face.
In the case of the above shirt, I can't imagine an appropriate occasion to wear it until they implement National Scare Off Prospective Mates Day.


Heatherette Break-Up Pending

According to Friday's Gatecrasher, the near decade-old lovechild of party monster duo Richie Rich and Traver Rains might be aborted very soon.
Heatherette fashion shows are the most over the top and Wigstock-esque of New York's fashion week. In the past, they have used gay icons like Anna Nicole Smith, Amanda Lepore, Paris Hilton and more recently model-heiress Lydia Hearst as models in their wacky, glitter-filled parades.
Heatherette has sold at Macy's, collaborated with UK shoe brand Irregular Choice and are the most recent collaborators with trannylovin' cosmetics empire M.A.C.
Supposedly Rains, said to be the better designer of the two, "can't deal with" Rich anymore. Rich wants to move to L.A., start a new line (Rox and Riley, after his dogs - said to already be in progress) and is writing a book about club kids.
Looks like you're all we have left, Patricia Field! Keep the tranny glamour alive.
You can shop what's left of Heatherette at Karmaloop.


"Todays Gucci Woman" is a Ho

Crap actress and babydaddy stealer Claire Danes has been tapped to be the new face for this fall's Gucci fine jewelry ad campaign. Creative director Frida Giannini told WWD Danes is a "modern icon and one of the most interesting young actresses on the international scene. Claire's sensual, confident beauty and her passionate, independent and strong character embodies today's Gucci woman."
Hang on one moment... I just need to wipe the vomit off of my shoes.
Last I checked someone who bones another womans dude when the woman is 7 months preganant with said dudes baby is not an "independent and strong character," shes a lecherous, co-dependent skank. Whose acting chops, might I add, could use some expansion beyond hair tucking and chin-quivering.
I miss the good old days when models reigned supreme in ad campaigns, and not actresses and "socialites." Am I alone in this?
They should have called Evan Rachel Wood and Angelina Jolie and launched a Homewreckers collection.


Wal-Mart Brings It With OP Launch

Ocean Pacific is clearly banking on celebrity influence, by the looks of the new campaign promoting their exclusive juniors and young men's OP lines for Wal-Mart.
They hit the nail on the head snagging Pete Wentz to lure their target consumer. Considering he has his own casual clothing line to promote, they probably paid out the ass to get him.
The following is mere conjecture about how this bizarre cast came together:
Next, someone was like "we need someone black," and they dropped a smaller amount to book Christina Milian, who is kind of cool but not that cool and also totally not Rihanna. Then
Rumer Willis
, Kristen Cavalleri, random ex-Cover Girl model Josie Maran and Wilmer Valderrama walked down the beach from where Josie and Wilmer live (in a shanty village made of old sheets and coke bags) to chew and screw at the craft services table. Then someone felt bad and put them in the shoot.

The site for OP looks cool and is chock full of boring, useless crap.
Surprisingly the line itself comes off as a fairly decent Roxy imitation. All the pieces below are $15 or less at Wal-Mart.

Jellies: Do or Don't?

Jelly shoes by Fairy Tales Are True. Urban Outfitters, $10

My torrid relationship with "jelly shoes" in the 80's has me saying no (I wore them in the ocean to protect my feet from crab pinches. Ironically, it only provided attacking crabs extra grip. And I know, WTF? But for whatever reason, sea crabs assail me.)
They made a comeback last year, selling mostly for under $30 for nostalgic grown-ups. But Givenchy just crossed the line. Would you drop $165 for these busted jelly sandals? If so, you are an idiot. And idiots can buy them at Barney's.

Urban Outfitters Gets L.A. Chic

Tops by Geren Ford

Next month, Urban Outfitters will house a collection by L.A. designer Geren Lockhart (her high-end label = Geren Ford). Lockhart's designs hang in Barney's for over $300, while her UO pieces will run between $48-$128. As far as style, hers fits well with the general boho, fractionally avant garde vibe of the lazy hipster's retail Mecca.


California Select

The corner of Sunset and Alvarado.

No. I'm not quoting Eels' lyrics. I’m talking about the location of American Apparel's Echo Park vintage store, California Select. I became fascinated with AA ever since I really enjoyed playing the game of "Spot the Nipple" in its recent spring catalogue to keep my mind alert. Additionally, AA's CEO, Dov Charney, is the only exception to my rule: never sleep with a 37-year-old... again.

Despite it's size, you still need to browse with as much effort as any vintage store. (In fact, I found myself saying that many of its dresses were "very Hester Prynne" or "way too Anne Frank.") However, you will walk out of the store with at least three items, even if it does include some of the reading material it provides for the literate hipster. After all, the store does sell vintage Playboy issues so you can see how the centerfolds of yesteryear resemble articles about Activia found in today's Women's Home Journal.


"GO" Green with Rogan Gregory for Target

While the looks are pretty "eh", the concept is cool.
Designer Rogan Gregory (of EDUN and Loomstate-- read more here) is up next for a capsule collection in Target's GO International design program.
His pieces will use 100% organic cotton and will range in price from $14.99 – $44.99. You can see the whole shebang here. Below are two of the cuter outfits (click to enlarge):

I own an organic cotton t-shirt from H&M that I love-- the cotton is soft but has a more textured feel and the weave of it is more apparent.
Find Gregory's collection in stores May 18th.
P.S. - FYI on Jovovich-Hawk's GO collection... it sold so well that as of right now not a piece is left on the website-- even in clearance. Go Milla!


Hot Gloss

Bamboo Pink, Bonfire, Fireberry

Au naturale femme, sun-kissed beach babe and ruby-lipped glamazon. Three shades of Clinique's new Long Last Glosswear SPF 15 and you've got all of these looks in the (makeup) bag.
The idea: Sheer, long lasting shades with SPF 15 to protect your lips (Crucial! They are skin too, you know.)
The verdict: An array of natural, mica-flecked shades easily complement any skintone. Shimmer is fine, not gaudy and the colors are more reminiscent of plants than of Hi-C flavors. Though translucent, the pigment does hold for several hours. The high shine factor also makes lips look fuller.
Drawbacks: Mildly sticky. Don't go around kissing people or walking with your hair down on a windy day in this stuff.
Faves: I love Bamboo Pink for a natural everyday look and with a mod smoky eye at night. Bonfire illuminates a face dusted with bronzer and peach blush, and for a chic classic look the raspberry Fireberry shade (so hot for spring) is perfection.
Price: $14. Shop here.

Totally Totes Totes

I was the car listening to MEE-chelle Norris on NPR and learned that Santa Monica, CA is thinking of banning plastic bags. Now, I know I certainly enjoy walking down the Third Street Promenade with my Forever 21 bag, proving to the Westwood girls that SilverLake gals don't just shop at Goodwill. However, being green is in and I'd rather prove to the world that I could be environmentally responsible and tongue-in-cheek:

"Totes! Totes: An Ironic Tote Bag Company

Being Green is the new hip thing. Al Gore demands it! With markets offering incentives, cities passing motions to banned plastic bags and hippies looking down on you, it makes sense to bring a few tote bags with you. But it doesn't mean they have to be boring.

Totes! Totes offers all the fun of an ironic t-shirt on a tote bag. Show your personality while doing a good deed.



Grain of Salt Required

US Weekly has named MTV reali-tard Lauren Conrad "celebrity designer of the year."
Conrad just put out her first collection this year, comprised of plain jersey dresses she copied from the racks of Forever 21 and marked up 300 percent.
Milla Jovovich should be pissed. Diddy must be fuming. And Jaclyn Smith must be rolling in her... oh wait. Sorry.


Don't Get Burned

From one super-white chick to maybe some others, I know how hard it is to gauge how often to reapply the sunblock when you're out playing at the beach. (And how lame it is to have to keep track of time when you're supposed to be relaxing.) Which is why these bracelets are pretty cool, and cute.
How they work: The beads are sensitive to UV rays and get darker as the light intensifies. When your beads are getting dark, you're supposed to go put on more lotion.
How much: $4.95 each. There are about 20 different styles, including plain ones for guys like my bf who find them totally gay.
Check out the website, www.uvsolbeads.com (and note the hilariously random endorsement from a grumpy looking Bill Murray.)

Fashion Publishing Gets "Real" Tyra Style

Looks like Tyra-nnysaurus Banks is up to more CW network fashion frivoliciousness. Starting this summer, she and producer Ken Mok are launching a new show called Fashionista that will have ladies (and maybe men, not sure?) competing for an entry-level gig at the now Nina-less ELLE Magazine. Tyra won't be IN the show (they can't afford a wig budget that high on two programs) but I'm willing to bet she won't be able to resist a cameo.
Two thoughts:
1.) I really hope there are boys involved. They need to change it up from ANTM. (Which is SO boring this season, isn't it?)
2.) I also hope the winner actually works at Elle and it isn't like how The Hills' Lauren Conrad "worked at Teen Vogue." Because as far as I saw, Lauren did little more than check her text messages and make knowing glances at her equally un-busy coworker before going to Paris (cause you know, they totally send interns to Paris for Fashion Week at most pubs) on MTV's dime and pretending it was for "work."
More details on the premiere of Fashionista and it's "cast" to come.


Did Nina Ditch Elle?

Elle fashion editor Nina Garcia has reportedly left Elle. One wonders if a giant pay raise due to Project Runway's hop to Lifetime was involved. Cause she's still a judge, regardless.
Whatever. Who reads Elle? Except me on an airplane after I already read Vogue.
Update: She got fired, but they're supposedly throwing her a meaningless "Editor at Large" (a.k.a. please don't show up at the office 'cuz bitch we hate you) title just so she can still get the Elle name in her intro on Project Runway.


Bravo, You Ah Owt

Just when straight guys were feeling comfortable enough to admit their addictions to Bravo's fag-ulous hit fashion reality show Project Runway, it up and moves to Lifetime.
Lifetime... you know, "Television for Women"? Home to such hit made-for-T.V. movies as "Mother May I Sleep With Danger?", "A Friendship to Die For", and the stunning tour-de-force "Her Best Friend's Husband"?
Anyway, no word on what time or day it'll be on now, but Tim, Heidi and the gang will all still be involved, and Season 6 begins this November.
PR's deal with Lifetime promises 5 more years of runway drama for the series.
NBC is all pissed about it and filed a lawsuit today to squash the deal. But their ain't no winning against the Hearst/Disney monster.


Will They Smell Like Bananas? (B-A-N-A-N-A-S)

Nope, these aren't figurines I bought at the Hello Kitty store. These little ladies are perfume bottles!
Coty is getting ready to simultaneously release five entirely different Gwen Stefani fragrances this September, each in it's own unique bottle. They are: Love, Angel, Music, Baby and G.
The plan is to sell these at slightly less than typical designer fragrance prices (keeping them around $25 and $45) to encourage the consumer to purchase more than one at a time.
Considering that most people who wear perfume leave the bottle out on a table or shelf or counter, creators were wise to acknowledge that perfume bottles double as a facet of room decor. I have yet to sample the scents, but my bet is if they are at least halfway tolerable, they'll be a hit. Especially with teens. (And er, twenty-somethings who shop at Hello Kitty stores.)


Spray de Mode: Fierce, Fast, Flexible

Ultra hip hair experts at Bumble and Bumble have done it again. And by again I mean impressed me once more after the amazing hair makeover they gave my college BFF when she modeled for a show of theirs (they gave her the Posh bob way before Posh did it.) Their latest magic potion Spray de Mode is similarly fresh.

The idea: Versatility. This aerosol hairspray is meant to work with any look you can imagine. It was created for backstage use at the big fashion shows with their stylists in mind.
Verdict: After using it with a flat-ironed look, an sleek ponytail and a wavy down 'do, I can't say it doesn't. It also dries fast and the hair is still workable after. (If you've ever been backstage at a fashion show before, you'll know speed is a major virtue.)
Bonus: It smells good. Almost sweet, but not candy sweet.
Price: $15 for 4oz.; $25 for 10oz. (find your Bumble and Bumble Salon here.)

Spray de Mode also offers its user a multitude of inspirations on the product's very own website, Spraydemode.com. Stylists took 8 unique beauties from the streets of L.A. and amped up their existing personal style through a combination of hair styling and hats (created by punk milliner Stephen Jones.) While totally creative, the styles are entirely wearable and the site offers a multimedia look at how and why the looks were created. So far only five looks have been revealed, so if you dig it check back for the rest!

My fave (of course) is the Hippie Heiress. The video isn't up yet, so I'll be checking back.

Barney's Goes Goodwill

(Image courtesy of Sundance Channel)

When I think of going out to buy someone's smelly old worn out t-shirt, I don't usually think of Barney's. However, that's what they're going to start selling this holiday season.
From April 13-27, if you go to Barney's and drop off an old t-shirt, you'll get 20% off any men's or women's Loomstate brand purchase (eco-friendly and pricy) and they'll re-dye, re-print and entirely re-work your old tee for resale. When the new shirt is sold later this year, 1% (gee how generous) of the profit will go towards "the planet."
The whole program is a plug for the Sundance Channel's environment-focused show "The Green."
So if you love Loomstate, or you're just dying to see some rich idiot pay way too much for a shirt you know you drunkenly dumped your Scorpion bowl on, get yourself over to Barney's.