Women on Bras (and Vice Versa)

Just last night I tried to explain to my male companion what it feels like to have a bra on.
"All day I just want to rip it off and scratch my boobs," I said.
(A horrified expression ensued.)
Today, having decided I was one of the "80%" of women wearing the wrong sized bra, I locked myself in a department store dressing room with about 16 in various shapes and sizes. I think I ended up with the "right" size, but I'll never know until I let one of those weird old ladies that do "bra fittings" feel me up. (If you are so inclined, you can get one at an Intimacy specialty store or any large department store; Macy's, JC Penney, Nordstrom, Dillard's and Bloomingdale's all do them.)
Coincidentally, Consumer Reports released the results of a survey today revealing these findings about women and bras:

- Women own an average of 9 bras, but only wear 6 on a regular basis.
(The other three are decorated with Swarovski crystals and/or loaded with padding intended to smash our tits into some Maxim-esque shape for the brief viewing pleasure of some idiot --who would never treat his junk with such disrespect-- and probably hurt like hell. )
- The average woman purchased 4 bras in the past year.
(Do you know how long that process took me today? Like an hour. Fuck that.)
- 80% of women say they would never go out in public without a bra.
(20% of women either love Jesus a bit too much or have massive jugs.)
- Over one-third (34%) of women take action to enhance their bra size.
(At least 34% of women have sex with men. Also, I love how they use the term "take action." Like its a fucking public initiative.)
- Matching bra and panties is not a priority for 58% of women.
(42% of women should be shot.)