Blackwell's Senile Thoughts

3-million-year-old tanorexic fashion castoff "Mr. Blackwell" released his annual slams and accolades list today. He's been writing this bitchy-but-not-witty bullshit for 48 years now, and I'm pretty sure the only reason people still pretend to care is because he releases it during fashion's slow news season, and because they know it won't be long till he's found dead in a soiled adult diaper anyway, so why hurt his feelings?

Among his top ten best: Nicole Kidman, Cate Blanchett, Reese Witherspoon, Jemima Khan, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce, Helen Mirren, Katie Holmes, Katherine Heigl and Kate Middleton.
Among his worst: Amy Winehouse, MK Olsen, Kelly Clarkson, Lindsay Lohan, Avril Lavigne, Eva Green, Jessica Simpson and --topping the list-- Posh Beckham.

- Jolie wears black every day with a pair of aviator glasses. That qualifies for best dressed? Oh wait, she's probably mourning for Africa or some shit right? I guess that is fashionable.
- Beyonce never looks like anything but a Christmas ornament because she lets her fame-whoring mother design her outfits. That's not style, that's abuse.
- Katie Holmes is a "best" and Posh is the "worst?" Did he miss the memo? Katie is Posh's personal dress up doll. They're practically the same robot. He probably only put Katie on so the Scientologists wouldn't put a hit out on his wrinkly ass.
- Sloppy or not, Mary Kate Olsen takes risk after risk and she rocks it all like she doesn't give a fuck. To me, nothing is more stylish than a devil-may-care dresser.

But who can expect a good list from an old gay who thinks orange is an acceptable color to be?