Sunday

Notes on the Oscars

Fugliest Accessorization
Amy Adams' necklace was a beaded bib nightmare. You don't throw a mardi-gras looking melee of color up next to a dress that's already, boned, piped, draped and bright red.
Angelina Jolie looks like she bought her earrings in the checkout line at the Christmas Tree Shop. Side note - she might as well wear the same dress to everything, because she always looks the same! And bitch, dont tell me you dont have time to dress shop with 85 kids, we all know you have more nannies than Obama has secret service agents.


Saddest Detail
Sarah Jessica Parker's dress would have been fabulous if the attached belt didn't have a big honkin' BUCKLE on it. The muted gray-green chiffon with white gold beading was ethereal and gorgeous


Most Orange

Valentino. As always. And Natalie Portman clearly spent a tad too long in the booth at the Syosset Spray Tans n' More. (But her Rodarte dress was killer.)


Pretty Girl in an Ugly Dress (x2)
Anne Hathaway's Armani Prive gown on the red carpet was a fantastic work of art that unfortunately fit as flattering as a suit of armor and totally washed her gorgeous complexion out. Clearly she couldn't sit down in it either, because she changed into a weirdly cheap looking Macy's prom dress/ figure skating costume for the sit down part of the show.


Fugly Girl in a Pretty Dress
Miley Cyrus' dress was age-appropriate, glamorous and almost vintage looking. Unfortunately is was worn by a rude teenaged hillbilly who couldn't act her way off the Disney Channel


Fiercest Cougar
Meryl Streep was the epitome of understated chic in her off the shoulder, draped gray gown. But she could have worn the hair a bit lower and looser to age her down a bit.
(Also - Sophia Loren is a surgical nightmare - I couldnt get past her face to notice her dress)


Worst Hair
Marilyn Manson's former statutory rape victim Evan Rachel Wood looked like a pinhead. The 'do looked like it shot straight out of a Dairy Queen dispenser. Her Ellie Saab dress was gorgeous but totally the wrong color for her.



Best Hair
Jennifer Aniston
looked young and elegant with her fishtail braid headband and loose waves. I hate hard-hair with formal gowns! It's all about juxtaposition, people. Her dress was also flattering and glamorous. And I just have to draw the comparison - she really did look better than the bitch who boned her husband right out from under her a few years ago.


Best Dresses (surprisingly on people I hate!)
Marisa Tomei in silver fan-pleated Versace
Penelope Cruz in vintage Balmain (although the faux fringe was a mistake! Talk about awkward hair.)
Marion Cotillard was one of the few who amped up the drama in her sapphire and onyx gown. Leave it to the Europeans, ladies.
Jessica Biel's (man in a skirt alert!) bloused out bow was structure done right (Heidi Klum's stupid dress, take note)

Worst Dresses
Was megabeard Vanessa Hudgens wearing craft store bouquet with a feather jammed into it?
Reese Witherspoon had WAY too much going on. I didn't know where to look.
Even gorgeous Amanda Seyfried from Big Love couldn't overcome the frump of this prom/mother-of-the-bride trash heap.

Notes:

Loved Mickey Rourke rocking it scumbag style in Jean Paul Gaultier. Tuxedos are SO boring.
Tina Fey looked beautiful - hair, makeup and the dress were all choice. She's got such a bangin' body!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Tina Fey was the best dressed, by far! And J. An looked awesome even though her boy toy kind of gives me the creeps.