More Celebrity Fragrance

Shakira smells like...

Shakira exists in my library of mental images as a whirling mass of tangly hair and a Tarzan costume-- an image that doesn't conjure an association with good smells. Nonetheless, the same company that brought you the old classic Spirit of Antonio Banderas has decided to help the belly-dancing Colombian yodeler design her own line of fragrances. (Look for it in your local drug store next to the BOD spray.)

It's All Downhill After Liv

Over the years, it looks like Bongo has lowered it's standards, don't you think?

(Liv Tyler, Kristen Cavalleri, Vanessa Minnillo, and current poster girl Kim Kardashian...in a position she's probably very familiar with)

I Dare You...

Worst. Mascot. Ever.

Oh, KMart. Why can't you ever get it right? Not once have you ever offered anything remotely hip in the way of clothing. Is your professional trendspotter a one-eyed Quasimodo living in a basement in Mormon country? Is your head buyer an ex-con named Starkeisha who thinks G-Unit is the Marc Jacobs of the future? You need help.
Unfortunately the only way you're asking for it is through a crappy "style ambassador" contest that allows the winning entrant ONE DAY to weigh in on your designs. And even more unfortunately that person will be someone who aspires to win the other part of the prize, $10,000 in Kmart gift cards. That person will probably not tell you how far off the mark you are.
Seriously, your two latest attempts at hipness? Piper&Blue and Wckd? (Check them out if you have a nearby bag to vomit in.)
To the public, I dare you to enter the contest when it starts March 9 in the worst outfit you can conjure. www.kmart.com/style (which isn't up yet, of course)

The GAP Gives Free Music Downloads

The Gap, a brand that has thus far already roped many musicians (good and bad) into ad campaign appearances-- some just as models, others actually performing-- is expanding its musical tie-in trend and getting 'em fresh out of the oven. With their "Sound of Color" campaign, they're offering the public free downloads for 30 days-- five songs by emerging musicians and five music videos by different filmmakers- that are supposed to represent colors.

Seattle indie band The Blakes do the color blue ("Magic")
Danish rockers The Raveonettes do the absence and sum of all colors ("Black/White")
Techno artist Dntel does red ("Turning Red")
L.A. folkie Marie Digby does yellow ("Paint Me In Your Sunshine")
Hip-hop artist Swizz Beatz does green ("Candy Paint")

You'd think, being The Gap and all, they'd have covered khaki. Maybe Colbie Caillat was busy?
Get the free songs here. Ends March 15.

Is London Going Goth?

A Queen Amidala/Marilyn Manson homage at Gareth Pugh.
(Photo: Marcio Madeira. Style.com)

Looks like goth is having a flare-up in London. Between Lily Allen's getup at Luella Bartley's show, Gareth Pugh's futuristic costume collection, and almost-black lipstick being rocked on models in more than a couple of shows so far during LFW, it's hard to deny.
Who this side of the pond is going to dare to wear it first? And more importantly, who isn't going to look like shit in a style inherently unattractive to anyone but morose 8th graders?
It's all about the mix and match, people. A dash of demon-warrior goes a LONG way.

Hannah Does Haircare

Hannah Montana hair care... yikes.

Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana is coming out with a 3-product hair care line (shampoo, conditioner, and of course... SPARKLE SPRAY) which will sell for about $6 each.
Girlfriend has been rockin a gnarly-ass hooker weave lately, so I don't know that she's exactly the poster child for hair at the moment.

Copycats May Soon Be Jailbirds

Copying. It's something we all have been annoyed by and accused of at one time or another, even way back in grade school. Some say the greatest compliment is imitation, and I tend to agree. On the other hand-- how can you determine whether that person stole your idea in the first place? How do you know you didn't unknowingly steal the idea from someone else? No one can trace the root of an original idea, especially in terms of style. (Check out this great article in the UK Telegraph on the subject.)
Still, the who started it fashion battles have been going on forever. Back in the grunge days, it was Courtney Love vs. Kat Bjelland on who invented the "kinderwhore" look. Just this past fall, Kate Moss started a ruckus at a wedding accusing Sienna Miller of hijacking her boho aesthetic. But, did they both steal it from Mary Kate Olsen? And did she steal it from Stevie Nicks? Who probably stole it from someone else?
Can you really say who started it, when all fashion (and music and art and everything creative) is just bits and pieces of other things? Well kids, it's up to Congress now.
It's a battle of high end designers vs. the folks who knock off styles at prices we the masses can swing.
Want to guess whose side I'm on?
If I were the high end designers, I'd be proud to know the world was following my lead and fewer people were out there dressing like shit thanks to my inspiration-- whether they do it in my $10,000 piece or the $19.99 version at Forever 21. Take that elitist attitude and shove it up your rich asses.

(Photo: Mick Murray)

The Catwalk Boombox

Kim Gordon gets a little MJ love.
(Getty Images)

If you were lucky enough to get into the following fashion shows last week, this is what you enjoyed (or endured):

- Oscar de la Renta had a live performance by Regina Spektor as his models strode the catwalk.
- Marc Jacobs had a live performance by Sonic Youth during his shockingly on-time show.
- United Bamboo was DJed by Karen O, who played almost exclusively music by female musicians.
- Bill Blass had his ladies strut to a remix of Depeche Mode's "Enjoy the Silence."
- Anna Sui played The Beatles' "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."
-Chloe Sevigny had god-awful reggae band The Slits play her party for her line for Opening Ceremony.
- And last but not least, everyone and their pet poodle had the MisShapes DJ their afterparty.

Crimes of Advertising

Not only is this Diesel ad completely bizarre (sure, I get the message- Vanity is for idiots, wear these ugly pants), but are they serious? Wonky overalls, garbage-bag waisted pants and Easter egg colored jeans? Bad clothes + bad ads = fire everybody.
Which is worse: this ad, or this one?

Small Bites

America's Next Top Model winner Jaslene walking for Jillian at the PR show last week.

Of the five Project Runway finalists (that's Sweet P, Chris, Christian, Jillian and Rami) who showed at fashion week on Friday morning, guest judge Victoria Beckham said there was one whose collection she would wear everything from. (My guess is it wasn't Chris, who used pieces of weave hair on some of his shit. Seriously, only Hedwig can pull that off.)
For those who want a spoiler on the looks shown, check out the WWD coverage here and FWD coverage here.
P.S. for some reason Tim Gunn WASN'T EVEN AT THE SHOW!
***
I just read this article about a 21-year-old "model wrangler" (cattle terms describing anorexics - there's irony) in the Sunday Times. When I finished it I daydreamt an entire made for TV movie in which he is disfigured in a huge accident and then discovers the true meaning of life.
***
On the cover of the March Vanity Fair: Emily Blunt, Amy Adams, Anne Hathaway, and Jessica Biel, all in pretty dresses. Hey remember that song from Sesame Street "one of these things is not like the other"? Totally applies. One of these things is a dude.

When You Say No to Zoe

Apparently Rachel Zoe got shut out of the Marc Jacobs show (pics here) because she was late, and then started screaming and cursing and trying to plow past the bouncers even though she's built like a splinter spearing a raisin. Classy!

Here's the convo one dude overheard at the afterparty:
RZ: Literally, Marc, it took me 45 minutes to go twenty blocks. I get out of the car, I get to the gate, they’re like, “It’s started,” and I go “You don’t understand, he’s my friend, I gotta fucking get in there!” I was so mad.
MJ: I know, Jason told me.
RZ: Oh my God, I was so mad.

I will bet you 8 million dollars he rolled his eyes as he walked away from her.

Phasing Out the (Literally) Fishy Products

(Image: Natalie Dee, who is so cool.)

Eww! Did you know a lot of cosmetic products contain oil from shark livers? SHARK LIVERS.
And not even just some weirdo $800 French eye cream company-- Unilever brands like Dove, Ponds and Vaseline use it in creams, glosses and lotions. Shu Uemura uses it in some lipsticks.
The ingredient is called "squalane" or "squalene." Keep an eye out for it, as it's still on the shelves.
Fortunately because of pressure from save the whales types (and possibly an anti-grossness activist or two), they're "phasing out" the fish squish this year and replacing it with something plant based. L'Oreal used to use it in all of their skincare products, but stopped in 2006.

I Hate Agyness Deyn

I'm dying to know if I'm the only one who was over British model Agyness Deyn (real name Laura Hollins) before they even met her.
Named Model of the Year at the 2007 British Fashion Awards, she's been all over the runways and the magazines lately, not to mention the party pages wearing awful Cosby Show castoffs like the above sweater and pretending to be a DJ (P.S. does every young famous idiot have to pretend that? Is it a law?)
She has one of the most boring faces I've ever seen-- literally off a doll assembly line-- with no character whatsoever. Legend of Billie Jean haircut aside, she's nothing unique. She looks like a boy I wouldn't want to fuck (uh, and anyone who knows me knows I'm game for a girly-man.) But everyone from W Magazine to Perez Hilton thinks she's the balls.
Am I missing something?

Kenneth Cole Loves Your Tats, Real Person

After 25 years as a brand, Kenneth Cole is going for a new attitude.
How so? Edgier ads featuring "real people" (ehmahgawd, brilliant! Oh wait, no. More like late to the Benetton party...) are going in the fashion mags and they're going to be promoting via YouTube with what they hope will be viral videos. Which unless they contain nudity, the consumption of feces or someone getting whacked in the nuts, won't be viral at all.
(Don't get me wrong, they make a good shoe. I'm just saying.)
Oh and if you do dig the brand, take note that by fall Kenneth Cole Reaction is changing names to Kenneth Cole New York. And they're launching a line of manties in April.

Bad News for Macy's Peeps

While not yet pulling a Filene's, Macy's is struggling in this "tough sales climate." They're going to be downsizing to the tune of 2,550 positions and 9 store closings, according to Women's Wear Daily.
Ouch.

Oh So Cho

Benjamin Cho fall '08
(Photos: Marcio Madeira for Style.com)

Designer Benjamin Cho is one of those rare art hipsters who is actually an artist. His fall collection had a lot of exaggerated sculptural designs with gigantic flowers and weird antennae that came off of them (which look cool but just nauseatingly remind me of Karen O), and also the hottest metal-ringed black mini-dresses I've ever seen.
Another interesting element was the incorporation of puzzle piece shapes and lipstick kiss stains (the latter showed up on his signature audience swag- a tote bag- which I will buy from you on eBay if you have it cause its so cool.)
Also cool, is this deer head he sent down the runway. It makes me love him all the more.

Heavens to Betsey

Betsey Johnson fall '08
(Photos: Marcio Madeira for Style.com)

Betsey Johnson came at fashion week full force yesterday with a wild array of... well... Betsey Johnson clothes. Always a designer for the vibrant, somewhat kooky girl, the cartwheeling senior citizen showed high waists, bright red and blue, chiquita-banana ruffles, and borderline-costumey rocker gear for fall '08.
She may not be for you, but you can't help but love her.

Candy Darlings

Adorable and hyper-talented young designer (who also happens to be the college friend who once sewed a weave to my head) Chris Benz showed these gorgeous ensembles yesterday:

The boy certainly knows color.
Unfortunately, he used real fur in his collection (shame!) Finding that out really soured the beauty of his whimsical colored fur coats for me. Only models and Muppets should die in the name of high fashion- not innocent animals.

Viva Glamourous

As I mentioned a couple months ago, Fergie-Ferg is the latest tranny to pimp M.A.C.'s charitable (the M.A.C. AIDS Fund) Viva Glam lip products. Well, the ads are out:

Message well stated-- M.A.C. makeup makes even Fergie look good. (The lighting doesn't hurt either.)
On another note... how hot is that bustier?!

Gratuitous Image

That's Kiera Knightley, doing her best Twiggy impression on the cover of Canadian mag Strut.
It's a good look for her. Much better than that "pinching-nostrils-closed-and-forcing-weird-pout" face she does in movies to seem intense.