Erin Fetherston 4 Target : Pictures!

It won't be in stores for a couple more weeks, but take a peek at the images of Target's new Go: International collection by Erin Fetherston. (They're meant for the press, but you don't have to show credentials to view them so, eff it. And P.S.? If you click on the thumbnails they show you the prices too.)
Don't Lolita, Marcia Brady and late-60s Marianne Faithfull come to mind? I love it already. Let's hope these pieces look as cute in person (and mind you, I'll let you know the day it launches.)

Glamorous Choice

M.A.C. Cosmetics has a new face. According to today's Women's Wear Daily, Stacy "Fergie" Ferguson will be the next spokes"woman" for Viva Glam in an ad campaign to be released in Februrary 2008. She'll be hawking a limited edition shade of Lipglass to raise money for the company's AIDS Fund.

Pam Anderson, Lil' Kim, RuPaul, Christina Aguilera... now Fergie? No offense to M.A.C., but do you see a trend here? Yeah, me too. Trannies!
But kudos to them for being socially responsible. They should branch out to Viva Glam eyeshadow.

The Best of Holiday Moss

The new Kate Moss collection from Topshop is now available to order. Hit it up now if you care to get spendy on a collector's piece, because the good stuff goes fast. Speaking of good stuff-- here are my top picks from the collection:

The corset top.
About $70 US dollars
Why? It's a statement piece. Part mod, part domme. Very Factory Girl.
What you need: A C-cup or smaller, and a damn good t-shirt bra.

The wool cape. (Update: SOLD OUT!)
About $240 US dollars
Why? It's a classic. Military chic meets avant-garde. It screams urban femme fatale, and you'll have it forever.
What you need: A pair of button-up leather gloves and a narrow cut skirt/pant.

The sequin-encrusted accessory.
Scarf, about $70 US dollars and Purse, about $90 US dollars
Why? With all the simple cuts and achromatic ensembles these days, you need a focal point.
What you need: A valid I.D. stating that you are under the age of 65.


These shoes are also lovely, about $150 US dollars, but sold out immediately. Real leather, mind you.

I didn't post any pants because you can buy average looking skinny jeans and bell bottoms on this side of the pond for far less than $100 at any of the following: TJ Maxx, Marshall's, H&M, Forever 21, Delia*s, Alloy... (how much time do I have?) It doesn't appear Miss Moss did anything for our bottoms that we have not seen before.

Her dresses, too, were nothing special. A few 1940's style floral numbers with puff-sleeves you could find at your local thrift store or on your local pastor's wife, satin gowns that look more like negligees, a completely random mandarin-collared mini dress, and a couple of pieces I like to think even the stylist for "Pretty Woman" would have rejected for a hooker's wardrobe.

Sometimes I think Kate just cleans out her closet for Goodwill and sends one of the bags in accidentally as design ideas. Other times the people who tell her what to say she likes are doing quite a nice job.

As always, you can find plenty on eBay already.

Beauty Review Duo: Maybelline's Latest

Maybelline Salon Expert Nail Color
In a word? Amazing. I was attracted by the sleek rectangular packaging and seduced by the richness of Amped Aubergine, a limited-edition shade from their Rock N Black fall collection. It was a worthy choice.
* EASE- You can truly get away with one coat, if you're lazy or in a hurry, and still look fabulous.
* SHINE- The claims about "just-done shine" are true. A glossy top-coat seems magically built-in.
* REAL LIFE-PROOF- I'm not careful with my hands at all. My polish withstood a full week of typing, shopping, driving, cooking, chores and even catbox-scooping without cracking under pressure. And in all honesty, shreds of it were still hanging on at the end of two weeks, when I finally got around to re-doing them.
* IDIOT-PROOF- I'm the queen of sloppy at-home nail jobs. I always manage to smudge some on my cuticles and fingertips, and end up taking half of it off with polish remover when trying to correct my mistakes. The "nail-shaped" brush in this product is an innovation. The span of it's spread is just enough to reach the curves of the nail without running outside the lines. They call it "precision." I call it just the training wheels I needed.
* PRICE: About $4. So stock up. They have 28 classic shades, and a handful of limited edition seasonal shades.

***Maybelline may have hit a home run with the nails, but their new Superstay Silky Foundation is quite another story. (For your own free sample, click here.)
BAD PACKAGING- What you won't experience with the sample is the most annoying part of this product. The packaging warns you that you may need to push on the pump a few times before both the "foundation" and the "silky coverage extender" come out at the same time. It took me about 50 pumps, and with each one of those pumps I wasted more and more of whichever ingredient was coming out. I assume that ingredient will run out first, and leave me with a useless amount of the other. So don't imagine for one second you're getting a full, useable 1 oz. of the product.
INACCURATE COLOR- I am fair-skinned and always wear the lightest possible shade in any fondation, usually called "01" or "fair" or "ivory", etc. The lightest shade of this product is too tan for me, and looks more like a orangey bronzer on my face. After all those pumps, I can't even use it unless it's summer when my skin gets a little more color to it.
Maybelline put this product on the market soon after their EverFresh foundation, which served the same "stay-put all day" purpose, was phased out (though it still appears to be on the UK market). They ought to bring that one back and get rid of this dud.

WTF of the Day: Elisa Jimenez on Project Runway

Who are they going to cast next, Marc Jacobs?
I didn't realize this at first glance, but one of the Project Runway Season 4 contestants is already-famous, already-successful, already-a-fashion-insider Elisa Jimenez.

If you're a "fashion person," like to the degree you ever looked at a Nylon Magazine, you heard of her back in the late 1990s. She's worked with a ton of famous artists, musicians, actresses and on films and a million mass-media-press covered endeavors.

She's gorgeous and already extremely successful. How is there even going to be any competition? And how weird is it that the other designers will probably all have heard of her and think it's unfair?

Thoughts???

What Happens When You Win Project Runway?

With the new season of Project Runway starting up on Wednesday, November 4 at 10 p.m., I was curious to see how far the first three winners have gone since their 15 minutes. Here's what I got...

Season 1:
Winner Jay McCarroll had one show during NY Fashion Week in Fall 2006 sponsored by the Humane Society (he's anti-fur), but is now "homeless and relying on the kindness of friends who are allowing him to stay at their apartments," according to his wiki page.

Season 2:
Winner Chloe Dao still operates the store she already had before the show, Lot 8, in Houston. Last May she debuted a 13-piece collection sold on QVC called Simply. Chloe Dao. It kind of sucks.

Season 3:
Winner Jeffrey Sebelia has continued with his already-successful (again, before the show) L.A.-based Cosa Nostra label. According to a New York Magazine article last spring, his line was "under consideration" by Bergdorf Goodman, but looks like it wasn't picked up as there is nothing of his on their site. His stuff IS for sale on his site, however.

Check out the Season 4 Bios here and decide for yourself who'll be the next designer Bravo will thrust forth into marginal success!

Are You Ready?

The unveiling of Italian designer Roberto Cavalli's collaboration with H&M is just DAYS away. Mark your calendars for Thursday, November 8th! And plan to get there early enough to browse before certain assholes ruin the fun by buying entire racks to sell on eBay at a 200% markup.

If you're unfamiliar with Cavalli, think jungle prints, low necklines, high slits- polished rock and roll decadence. So very Italian.

My hope is that his collection challenges women to take it up a notch, and dare to go to dinner, or a club, swathed in a daring red carpet ensemble. Of course you and I have no gala to attend, no premiere or awards ceremony-- but why deny yourself? In my book, there is no such thing as overdressed.
According to H&M:
"The line will consist of iconic menswear, 20 pieces, and womenswear, 25 pieces, including lingerie plus matching accessories."

As far as the menswear... I would love to think anyone besides gay guys will be snapping this stuff up. American men are among the most wardrobe challenged in the world, narrowly beating tribes where loincloths are still all the rage. That is why I propose November 8th be Adopt-A-Hetero Day for friends and lovers of straight men. Pick up one item from this collection, and bring it home for him to try. Because you know what? You can always return it. And it's worth a shot.

Erin Fetherston Does Target

Target announced yesterday that Erin Fetherston will design the next collection for their "Go International" (read: haute design at ghetto prices) program. It hits stores on November 18, 2007.

So who is this chick? Well, she's young, elfin, and rather new on the scene. She showed her first couture collection in Paris in 2005, just a year after nabbing her fashion degree (she studied at Parsons School of Design in Paris) and her first ready-to-wear collection debuted in New York just this past spring. See footage of her Fall/Winter 2007 collection here.

Her collection for the plebes, according to Target, will include "must-haves such as Peter Pan-collar dresses, ruffle-front blouses, chunky cardigans, miniskirts, skinny pants and wool coats."

The "standout pieces" they promise are:

* a charmeuse jumper with velvet hearts
* red velvet shorts
* a layered chiffon dress
* a classic velvet pantsuit
* a wrap sweater
* an oversized heart-shaped bag
* bow headbands in satin, jaquard and brocade
* heart necklaces
* a knit scarf with heart details

(All priced between $7.99 and $89.99)

My first thoughts? Sounds like a cross between vintage holiday party-wear and how I dressed on school picture day circa 4th grade. I foresee her scaring off the "normals" a bit, but being an absolute hit with urban indie chicks, nostalgic twenty-somethings and those willing to take a risk.
The first model you see on her website is Zooey Deschanel. So you know she's into quirk and music and shy whimsy. I can't wait. If you get there first, save me a heart-shaped bag.

Shop Goodwill, Dodge the Smell

Did you know that Goodwill has an online auction site? It's a bit of a mess (just like the stores-- so thrifters won't miss out on that the exilhirating feeling of "digging for gold"--though if you're looking for a multi-sensory simulation, try tearing open a dirty diaper and setting it next to the keyboard...) but there are more than a few treasures lurking in what appears to be one Michigan location.
For example, a pair of unworn Prada pumps, current price $78, with 3 minutes to go...a vintage Gunne Sax prarie dress...a vintage suede coat from Saks Fifth Avenue, and so on.
It's definitely worth a look, if you can get past their overabundance of fur coats. (That's vintage fur, PETA! Now, put down that can of red paint.)

Skinny Santa Comes Early

Topshop has released a preview of the new Kate Moss holiday collection! Check it out here.
It won't be available for purchase until Thursday, October 25th, but you can still fall in love in the meantime...

Damn the Conversion Rate

We all know about Topshop. That English upgrade of knockoff-couture-for-cheapskates (Swedish, by the way) retailer H&M that American "actresses" rave about after sending their personal stylist/clenbuterol dealers to raid it in a roof-landing private aircraft.

Underrated talents such as you and I, on the other hand, curse the dollars to pounds exchange rate and international shipping fees while coveting the cuts we won't be trouncing about in for months, sometimes an entire year, later.
Well, as if one unreachable beacon of fab wasn't bad enough, take a peek at Dorothy Perkins.

Ever-so-slightly cheaper and just as fabulous, it's yet another reason I'll soon be looking for a "flat" in Pete Doherty's trailer park as soon as humanly possible.
But for the sake of my dental health, please, one or both of you... Come to the U.S.? I promise the total amount of income I plan to dispose of at your registers will put at least one child through an ivy league school.

Seriously. I want my trends while they're still trendy. Waiting this long to hop on the high-waisted trouser train has been painful.

PS- Guys if you don't already know, the Topshop for you is called Topman. Check it out.

Target Couture Beats Forever 21 Couture

So Forever 21 (my current favorite cheap-clothes addiction) finally launched it's much-hyped Twelve By Twelve "demi-couture" collection today. These are my picks:

So these are cute, but man. All in all, it's pretty boring. Hype was not lived up to. Why?
a.) I know this is fall/winter, but where's the fucking color? Eggplant is not enough!
b.) 32" shoulder to hem? And you're calling that a dress? Am I a midget? If you know me, you're aware that I'm no stranger to the butt-grazing realm of retro styling. But if you're trying to show us sophisticated, and charging more for it, then at least make something we can wear to a workplace somewhere other than "the corner."
c.) Some pieces are a little too "runway/outer space." (see below)

The bubble dress looks like you're pregnant with alien spawn that will drop out of your ass, the skirt is something your grandmother would wear if she was a whore, the coat looks like a Glad bag cinched with rubber bands, and the last dress looks literally stolen from wardrobe on the set of Star Trek: Voyager. Not impressed F21!
Target's Proenza Schouler and Patrick Robinson collections may have sucked, but Libertine and Alice Temperley are two hits in a row. They seem to have the edge on this label for the time being.

Let There Be Dimmer Switches

Light can be terribly unfair. Every morning I spend a bunch of time (okay 5 minutes) getting all fresh and pretty in the mirror and no matter what effort I put in, how meticulously I apply my concealer, by the time I walk into the flourescent puke light of the bathroom at work I want to dive face first into a Botox needle and shake down the nearest Avon sales lady for everything she's got.
Similarly, certain store dressing rooms seem to have been designed by sadistic fags who like to send women screaming from their own reflections by either top or side lighting.
Top lighting casts shadows down, making noses look longer, accentuating lopsided boobage (all women are, and we will be until the day you can Photoshop reality), and turning tiny paunches into virtual pregnancies.
Side lighting, it's equally-evil friend, highlights texture. Texture on ass = cellulite.
Oh I know, "Pix you're so thin." Shut up. No one no matter how bird-boned and anorexic, no girl is spared her spoonful of "cottage cheese." Not even supermodels. Google the terms "Karolina Kurkova" and "cellulite," why don't you? You'll see what I mean.
Two noted offenders in the world of retail? H&M and, I hear, Victoria's Secret.
Just this summer I tried on a bikini in an H&M dressing room. I won't describe what I saw in the mirror, but let's just say I threw the bikini at the attendant's face as I stormed out.
Unfortunately for her face, I bet I wasn't the only one.
(Note: Special thanks to "she who shall remain anonymous" whose wedgied ass I photographed in college as an art project. And the top photo is me in bed circa fall 1999.)

Finders Sharers

Clearance sections usually contain two types of things: stuff that nobody bought because it sucks, and stuff that for some freak reason got marked down (I don't count "past season" as a legitimate flaw) because God or Vishnu or whoever smiled upon the broke people who have taste.
I spend hours every week scouring website clearance sections for treasures. Consider this my community service- I'm gonna show you some things I found on CLEARANCE right now that rule my face.


$19.99 LEATHER (not Pleather!) Knee-High Boots
Found at: Delia*s
A classic fall wardrobe staple, knee-high boots never go out of style. Maybe the "cuff" is on the trendy side, but it's still being rocked as it only really surfaced last winter.
They also come in brown and (ew) forest green. As a general rule, let's avoid colored leather, shall we?





$1.99 (Fake) Gold Guitar Necklace and $0.99 Gun Earrings
Found at: GirlProps
Okay they're a little tacky, but still pretty cute to wear to a show. You scenester.


$12.99 Feather Pillow and $9.99 Velvet Pillow
Found at: Urban Outfitters
The velvet one also comes in red-- with all three it would look cute together, right? Very Victorian bordello, but in a chic way.








$3.95 Large "Carnaby" Platter
Found at: Crate and Barrel
If your style is minimalist or modern or based in solid colors of a bolder variety, this magical slice of melamine will totally match. If your dinnerware is more "natural" or rustic, you could still use this for bringing food to a party.




$10 Retro Print Cotton Skirt
Found at: Wet Seal
It's rare to find a retro knockoff print that doesn't look like some hideous cartoon of what it's supposed to be. So I'm calling this skirt a rarity. Even though it will probably last about 3 washes before dissolving. Longevity is overrated in fashion.




$19.99 Canvas Tote
Found at: Newport News
Doesn't this design/color combo just scream "Upper East Side yuppie, part-time-working, nanny-having, horseback-riding, charity-ball-committee bitch"? I think a dash of that looks just dandy. Not real leather on the accents, but who's inspecting you? And plus, this way you won't piss off "the vegans."



$27.99 Isaac Mizrahi Georgette Dress
Found at: Target
This piece can easily transition to fall with a pair of opaque tights and a cardigan (black, preferably-- tied in by the black dots in the dress.) Totally cute for work, dinner, whatever. And they also have it in cream and a pale teal. There was an all-black one but it's either not on clearance yet or has sold out. Isaac has done good this time. Now if he would only lay off the shapeless mom trousers...

That's all for now! I'll share more as I find them.

Dick for Jane

Good thinking. Nothing a bunch of hipsters, DIY queens and lesbians want more than a magazine that delivers JLo interviews, $800 purse features and glowing reviews of Gwyneth Paltrow films.
Show me 10 Glamour readers who know what a Rilo Kiley is, and I'll think for one second I've put my $9 vintage clad hipster foot in my mouth. (Frankly I'm too lazy to go haggling for a refund. So I guess it's 1 down, 9 to go.)

Things I'm Loving Right Now

The "Tent" dress. Nobody knows if you're bloated, pregnant, a toddler or any combination of the three. It's flattering, and adorable.

Neutrogena "Mineral Sheers" eyeshadow. It's like, the anti-eyeshadow. It just looks like you were born with the perfectly even-toned eyelid skin (ew) that you weren't. I don't want to use the word "dewy" but its a cross between that and "shimmery."

"Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne. I'd like to knock the bitch's fangs out in real life, but this song is fun. Same riff as Regina Spektor's "That Time" (best song on her latest album "Begin To Hope") plus "Hollaback Girl" cheerleading. I drove past two hipster boys yesterday on the way home from grocery shopping and turned the volume down in embarrassment because my window was open, but in the privacy of my own car-space I'll admit affecting my best obnoxious valley-girl accent and yelling "hell yeah, I'm the motherfuckin princess." Whoever wrote this song for her hit the permanent juvenile g-spot inside every chick with that line.

Levi jeans. Yeah, I've got a couple of pairs of Seven for All Mankind, a pair of Earl jeans and I've flirted with Diesel, Paper Denim and Cloth, Lucky and a few others in the trendy world of designer denim. But when it comes down to it, Levi's make an ass look better than any of them. It's all about the way the back pockets fold under and in to your humps.

Jergens Natural Glow. I'm pale. Chock it up to my Anglo roots, or the fact I've never lived anywhere the temperature hit above 70 for more than three months out of the year. I'm a wrinkle-phobe so I refuse to cook in a tanning booth, and I've believed the "won't streak" and "not orange" claims on the sides of far too many self-tanners to buy another brand. Still, come summer, I prefer not to compete with the sun in blinding people. Enter Natural Glow. It's so gradual that if you see a mistake or a blotch, its more like a faint watercolor stain than a fudge brownie wiped across your skin. It's sub-Lohan in intensity, for sure, but at least no one wonders if I'm the understudy in a stage version of "Powder" anymore.