The "Tent" dress. Nobody knows if you're bloated, pregnant, a toddler or any combination of the three. It's flattering, and adorable.Neutrogena "Mineral Sheers" eyeshadow. It's like, the anti-eyeshadow. It just looks like you were born with the perfectly even-toned eyelid skin (ew) that you weren't. I don't want to use the word "dewy" but its a cross between that and "shimmery."
"Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne. I'd like to knock the bitch's fangs out in real life, but this song is fun. Same riff as Regina Spektor's "That Time" (best song on her latest album "Begin To Hope") plus "Hollaback Girl" cheerleading. I drove past two hipster boys yesterday on the way home from grocery shopping and turned the volume down in embarrassment because my window was open, but in the privacy of my own car-space I'll admit affecting my best obnoxious valley-girl accent and yelling "hell yeah, I'm the motherfuckin princess." Whoever wrote this song for her hit the permanent juvenile g-spot inside every chick with that line.
Levi jeans. Yeah, I've got a couple of pairs of Seven for All Mankind, a pair of Earl jeans and I've flirted with Diesel, Paper Denim and Cloth, Lucky and a few others in the trendy world of designer denim. But when it comes down to it, Levi's make an ass look better than any of them. It's all about the way the back pockets fold under and in to your humps.
Jergens Natural Glow. I'm pale. Chock it up to my Anglo roots, or the fact I've never lived anywhere the temperature hit above 70 for more than three months out of the year. I'm a wrinkle-phobe so I refuse to cook in a tanning booth, and I've believed the "won't streak" and "not orange" claims on the sides of far too many self-tanners to buy another brand. Still, come summer, I prefer not to compete with the sun in blinding people. Enter Natural Glow. It's so gradual that if you see a mistake or a blotch, its more like a faint watercolor stain than a fudge brownie wiped across your skin. It's sub-Lohan in intensity, for sure, but at least no one wonders if I'm the understudy in a stage version of "Powder" anymore.
Posts
