Wednesday

Keys This Pricy Usually Go To Something Else

Tiffany & Co. has come out with a new line of key pendants that I can neither afford nor stop drooling over.

I don't know why, but I've always had a thing for keys - especially old skeleton keys. Maybe it was from reading The Secret Garden 9,000 times as a kid?

Regardless, I adore these insanely expensive versions, which are an interesting departure from the very basic charms and bands Tiffany has always sold.

The cheapest start around $100, and go well into the thousands as the keys become more ornate. Sigh.

[Photo via Tiffany.com]
From left: $250, $1050, $6825, $1150, $225, $5825

Tuesday

A Magazine Gets Real (For Just One Issue)

Whoa - ANOTHER post about a fashion mag breaking the mold. Is the speedy decline of print publishing creating a byproduct of awesome? Did budget cuts mean they had to lay off the photoshop staff?!

This Saturday's new issue of French ELLE features a huge spread of stars who agreed to be photographed with NO MAKEUP and NO RETOUCHING. Not only that, but Eva Herzigova appears on the cover au naturale - under eye puffiness, asymmetry and all. (And still stunning, I might add.)

Man. If "real" were ever to become a trend in fashion publishing (and it won't - cause their advertisers WANT you to feel inadequate. Don't you watch Mad Men?), can you imagine the impact on the self-image the average woman? How many syringes of Botox would go uninjected! Tubes of Proactiv unsqueezed! Healthy lunches un-purged!

What I want to know is how the f*ck ELLE got away with this? Weren't the beauty advertisers pissed? Or are things that different in Europe?

[Source]

Glamour Puts a Little Meat on the Bones

Look at the realness (aside from airbrushing, of course) of Glamour Magazine's most recent swimwear feature model. She looks like someone I'd actually see at a beach in real life, and she looks fabulous and not malnourished. And she's the sole model on a multi-page spread shot by Patrick Demarchelier - and the spread is not entitled "Swimsuits for Curvy Gals" featuring Lane Bryant styles.

I'm not the first whose gut reaction to this spread was not only to be impressed, but also to be relieved. How often is it you look at a swimsuit ad or a feature on beachwear that you don't feel the urge to starve for four days, even if you're rockin a BMI of 19? Can you look at THIS and eat your lunch afterward?

Do tell:


Do ads and magazine spreads featuring swimwear affect your self image?
Nope, I'm hot and I always feel hot
Sometimes - like if I'm PMSing or something
I know I'm hot but I feel a little fat when I see them
They almost always make me feel like a fat cow

Nicole Richie: Jewelry "Designer"


Nicole Richie has launched her new jewelry collection "House of Harlow 1960" - complete with a lookbook starring... herself! Gotta love that celebutante modesty.

Surprisingly it's more reasonably priced than even Heidi Klum's collection -although to be fair, Heidi does tend to use higher quality materials. Prices start at $18 for a 14K gold plated ring and go up to $170 for a crystal faceted headpiece.

You can find the collection at Shopbop.com - which incidentally has a sale going on until Thursday. It's only good if you're planning to blow at least $200 though (one pair of jeans on this site can get you there) - you'll then get $25 off. Use code: TAXBREAK09

Saturday

April Showers Bring Cute Accessories

"Ugh - it's raining... AGAIN!"
Most of us will probably say that aloud about 20 times in the next month or so, but there is a way to lessen the pain: buy yourself a cute new accessory! Here are some great pieces of rain gear that won't leave you looking like the Gorton's fisherman:



SPLURGE: Guy de Jean can-can umbrella - $157.49, brolliesgalore.co.uk
STEAL: Pink ruffle umbrella, $10, redhatsocietystore.com



SPLURGE: Jean Paul Gaultier umbrella, $145, raindropsto.com
STEAL: Marc Jacobs umbrella, $58, Nordstrom.com



SPLURGE: Hunter original rainboots, $114.95, Zappos.com
STEAL: Rampage rainboots, $16.88, Amazon.com



SPLURGE: Chooka tokidoki boot, $89.99, Eilatan.com
STEAL: Plueys origami me boot, $60, Plueys.com

P.S. - We hope you enjoyed this! This is one of many more Splurge vs Steal features on Hearts Like Stars. Unlike many magazines, we will NEVER call a $500 purse a f*cking steal. (Seriously, how many people spend $80 on a tank top, even when we're not in a recession? Fashion editors should know better - we all know journalism doesn't pay the big bucks...)

Friday

Around Your Neck

If you love cutting edge design, Etsy shouldn't be the only bookmark on your toolbar. Observe the wares offered by my new favorite discovery, Stars and Infinite Darkness, an online store carrying apparel, jewelry, gifts and housewares, all by small brands who for the most part create their items by hand.

These are a few of my favorite jewelry items:

[Click image to enlarge]

Hint: Join their Facebook group to score special deals and discounts.

Cover Girls - Do We Care?

WWD posted an article today listing the cover girls that sell the most magazines. It made me wonder - when you're dropping your $3.99 at the newsstand, does it really matter who is on the cover? Tell us:

What makes you buy a magazine?
I'll buy any issue if I like the mag
Enticing cover headlines
Cool cover model
Thickness or size
I have no idea

The top selling faces were no surprise - Jolie, Lohan, LC, Beckham and Jessica Simpson (drama queens!) Celebs with relatively low gossip quotients like Rachel Weisz, Katherine Heigl and Drew Barrymore didn't move much paper this year. The other question I have - have you ever NOT purchased a magazine because you hate the person on the cover?

Tuesday

Jane Cosmetics Bellies Up

Cheapie drugstore makeup brand Jane. has filed for Chapter 11, according to WWD.

Bummer - I never really wore anything but this one coral-colored blush that they made (finding an oil-free blush is daunting), but it was a damn good blush before I lost it in my car.

I guess if you were a fan, it might be a good idea to hit Rite Aid and clean them out right about now.

Saturday

Amazing Tip from Lancome

If you haven't already hit the official (and brand new) Lancome Blog link we list as one of our faves, today is a good day to do so. They have an amazing tip regarding highlighting that you've probably never heard about (I hadn't even heard of it, and I'm a makeup slut.)

I'm totally impressed with a company as major as Lancome for launching a fun and unpretentious blog. So far it has really been the smaller hipster brands who've gotten on the blog-wagon.

NARS Reveals Summer 2009 Products

NARS is one of the few brands that is not a bff of Hearts Like Stars yet (We've reached out a few times... maybe they're just not down with bloggers?) so I can't give you the skinny on the texture and lasting power of the colors they released today. What I can say is that the look is bold, but at the same time, sophisticated. I'm a big fan of the upcoming orange lipstick trend.

The model is wearing new single eyeshadow in Tropic ($22), lip liner in Tonga ($20) and lipstick in Outsider ($24). The entire summer 2009 collection is pictured at left. Notice there is no blush? Don't do it if you're wearing eyes and lips this bold! A dusting of bronzer is all the color you need.

(Product and model images via NARScosmetics.com. Click to enlarge.)

Thursday

To Gel and Back

The product Gods at Bumble and Bumble recently released two new gels (yes, GELS!) While I haven't had much use for the Gellac so far (gives you that hard, slick wet-look hair - great for extreme hairstyles, updos and graphic runway looks), I've got rave reviews about the Bb. Gel "The multi-talented sculpting medium" that works more like a texturizer and leaves hair in a moveable, brushable state. (Don't let traumatic flashbacks of that big pink jug of L.A. Looks deter you - it's called "gel", but it's not even the same species.)

Sometimes the best reviews come from the mouths of dudes, so I'll share my dude's succinct assessment and be done with it: "It makes your hair as sweet as it is when you don't wash it for a day, except without the dirtiness. Bumble and Bumble just doesn't make bad products."

Agreed. You can pick either product up for a reasonable $24. (Free shipping on orders over $50, as always.)

Deal of the Week



You can spend a million on expensive makeup, but without the right brushes you're still going to look a mess. After years of using cheap drugstore brushes that constantly shed bristles all over my face, I started to consider dropping the big bucks on some prestige brand brushes. Then I came across this set by EcoTools ($10.99 at Target) and have since been deterred. The quality and texture of the brushes are really (I hate to use this word, but it's the only one suitable) luxurious, and gave a much softer application visually. No more streaky blush or blotchy bronzer for me!

PS - If you do go drugstore for brushes, the concealer and shadow brushes by Essence of Beauty are also good - just steer clear of their black-bristle brushes.

Monday

Topshop US Opens on Thursday

Finally!!! Anyone up for a MegaBus ride? I only need the slightest bit of encouragement...

For the opening they're offering free manicures, hairstyling and makeovers by Make Up For Ever (one of my fave pricey brands...) as well as live DJs (inlcuding Justine D. of my fave super-R.I.P. party Tiswas) and other giveaways.

In NYC this week, Topshop vans are all over the island giving out free gift cards: find out exactly where.

Matthew Willamson for H&M: "Meh"



Nothing to get your overpriced panties in a bunch over, is it? These been-there, done-that numbers will be available for higher than usual H&M prices starting April 23. I think the only piece I'd probably do (like, when it's on clearance after nobody else in their right mind buys it) is the cropped jumpsuit. I know it's a bit Air Force/Golden Girls, but it looks comfortable and breezy and I can see myself drinking a neon cocktail in it.

Sunday

Review: Cover Girl Exact Eyelights Eye-Brightening Mascara


The company line: "Get 4x brighter eyes* with Exact Eyelights Mascara! Light-reflecting metallics and a hint of tint bring out your blues, browns, hazels and greens, while our patented no-clump brush helps define lashes."
* Vs. bare lashes

The reality: Judge for yourself, do my eyes look brighter? The shimmer in the mascara is definitely not "glitter", which was a relief - it's subtle and in the case of the gold, the outcome is an overall brown look. I like that the formula is smudge resistant and the brush is a similar hard bristle style to "Lash Blast" mascara, which is a decent new release from CG. I've found it reduces clumpage and gives you a more even coat.

What sucks: It didn't complement my eye color and make it "pop" as much as a basic coat of black does. It's just a shimmery mascara, in a fun array of shades.

Price: $6.99
(Rihanna's Exact Eyelights ad)

This Week's Private Sales

Monday
Vix Swimwear - Hautelook
Twenty8Twelve - Gilt
Chloe - Gilt
Nicole Miller - RueLaLa

Tuesday
La Rok - Hautelook
LAMB Footwear - Hautelook
Gucci sunglasses - Hautelook
Ali Ro - Gilt
Ted Baker - RueLaLa

Wednesday
Elizabeth and James - Hautelook
Pop Beauty cosmetics - Hautelook
AG Jeans - Gilt

Saturday

Yes, You Can Recycle Lipstick Tubes


Earth Day is Thursday, April 2, and in case you were feeling guilty because you had no intention of planting a baby spruce in an industrial park, never fear! All you need to do is root around in that makeup tray for some empties. Starting April 2 you can bring your empty cosmetic bottles, tubes and jars – regardless of brand – to the nearest Origins retail store or department store and they will recycle them or use them for energy recovery.

The best part? If you're one of the first 50 to do so at one of the below listed locations (Boston babes, you're in luck! Both the Faneuil Hall and Harvard Square stores are participating), you'll walk away with a FREE deluxe size A Perfect World™ Intensely hydrating body cream with White Tea.
Not an early bird? No worries. Origins will also be providing FREE A Perfect World™ hand and arm massages to all attendees.

Participating stores:

Denver, CO - Origins Cherry Creek North
2800 E 2nd Ave
8am to 6pm

Boston, MA - Origins Faneuil Hall
1 Faneuil Hall Market Place
10am-9pm

Cambridge, MA - Origins Harvard Square
8 Brattle Street
10am-9pm

Austin, TX - Origins at Central Park
4001 N. Lamar Blvd. Suite 570
10am-8pm

San Francisco, CA - San Francisco Centre
865 Market Street
9:30am-8pm

This location gifts the first 250:
New York, NY - General Motors Plaza
767 Fifth Avenue @ 5th Avenue

This locations gifts the first 100:
Los Angeles, CA - Origins Century City
10250 Santa Monica Blvd.
10am – 11am

Thursday

Fashion Question!

THE CHALLENGE:
Event: Wedding
Who: Non-distinguished guest
Date: Late April
Time: A.M.
Vibe: "Semi-Formal"


Which dress is the best?
A. Pink rosette
B. Gray flutter
C. Pink ruffles
free polls

Update: She went with the gray flutter dress! Thanks for your votes.

Tuesday

Review: Two From Dermalogica's Age Smart Line

One of my favorite beauty boutique chains - Planet Beauty (their stores are all California-based but they have a cute, easily navigable website) - recently sent along a little package of spring essentials, and I've been loving two of the skincare items I had the opportunity to test-run. Both are from skincare brand Dermalogica, a prestige company that prides itself on products free of skin irritants and breakout-causing ingredients.

Dermalogica Age Smart Multivitamin Thermafoliant
For a product like this, $48 is reasonable. Why? Because you do get pro-facial level results. Like with a regular facial, your skin immediately after the treatment can be a little blotchy or reddened, but later you just see an awesome "glow." Any dead skin on your face just got it's ass kicked by a self-heating grainy micro scrub.
What sucks: I have to admit I'd never tried a thermal treatment before, so the heating first registered as burning, but the results make the slight discomfort of the process totally worth it. Verdict: I'd drop the cash to pick up more of this one in the future. It's harsher than my old fave, Origins Modern Friction, but every once in a while you need a stronger exfoliant - Origins' is more of a "several times a week" thing. This is more once a month (at least for me.)

Age Smart Dynamic Skin Recovery SPF 30 is great. I decided recently that SPF 15 in my moisturizer was not cutting it, and I wanted something more moisture-rich but not loaded with mineral oil. This product wears well under makeup and doesn't leave a greasy/shiny residue or a trail of acne devastation in its wake. Plus there are no artificial colors or fragrances - great for sensitive types.
What sucks: It's pricey at $60. Dermalogica does offer SPF face lotions for about half that price as well, so if you dig the brand but cant swing the cost, you don't have to miss out.
Verdict: It's not one I'd personally splurge for on a regular basis, but I am really enjoying it while it lasts.
FYI: All women should be wearing sunscreen at the very least on their face and neck if they don't want their youth rapidly obliterated by the environment. If you don't wear one, get one.

Monday

This Week's Private Sale Boutiques (Editor's Picks)

Monday
Heidi Klum Jewelry- Hautelook.com
Kenneth Jay Lane Jewelry - Gilt.com

Tuesday
Tracy Matthews Jewelry (sold at Anthropologie) - BillionDollarBabes.com
Modern Amusement (Women and Men) - Hautelook.com
Tracy Reese - Gilt.com

Wednesday

James Perse - Gilt.com
Burberry Prorsum - Gilt.com

Thursday
WESC (Women, Men, Accessories (headphones!) - Hautelook.com
Miguelina - Gilt.com
"The Final Sale" (30 brands at 75% off) - RueLaLa.com

Friday
Smashbox Cosmetics - Gilt.com
Converse by John Varvatos - Gilt.com
Costume National (Women, Men, Shoes, RTW) - Gilt.com

See What Happens When I Take A Break?

YIKES! Sorry for the 8 day hiatus. Having recently adopted one of the hottest trends of the year (unemployment), your ever-fashion-hungry editor wandered away from the laptop for a while to reflect. This week we're back with a ton of news, reviews (Dermalogica Age Smart thermal exfoliant scrub and SPF 30 lotion, two new gels from Bumble and Bumble, Origins Bedtime Spray, Cover Girl Exact Eyelights) and features on where and how to get the wardrobe upgrades you need, so check back daily!

Just to get started, I'll show you one item you might have missed thanks to my absence. I gotta get to a Kohl's and smell this nightmare concoction - which I imagine contains the essence of an anime lunchbox filled with cigarettes, pleather accessories and dried up eyeliner:

Saturday

Fall 2009 Makeup Trends

Click any image to enlarge in a new window

Color! So glad it's sticking around beyond the spring and summer seasons for 2009. Dior's models rocked the rainbow at the Fall 2009 show, and the old 80's up-to-the-eyebrows trend seems to be back with a vengeance. So long as you choose a flattering color for yourself, I say go nuts.

A slash of black liquid liner along the top lids is a classic look, but I like how they also lined the crease to create a longer eye at Moschino. At Vivienne Westwood they punked out the usually ladylike look by applying liner to the entire lid. Try Urban Decay's Liquid Liner in Perversion ($18 - P.S. I find the liners with brushes as opposed to "felt tips" create a cleaner line.)

Usually a summer makeup trend, bright coral showed up on lips and cheeks in two fall shows. Combined with a complementary bright pink lip or a doll-like smoky eye, when done lightly this color is completely wearable on most skin tones. Zac's model is wearing M.A.C. Cosmetics - Eyeshadow in Blackberry ($14.50)and Lipstick in Morange ($14.50). Betsey's model is wearing Stila - Long wear lip color in Hippie ($17)and Convertible Color in Gladiola ($25)on cheeks.

This is a strong look and a tough one to pull off, but with the right evening ensemble (I'd go with something simple, with a feminine accent like a ruffle or bow just for contrast) the goth lipped look can be done. Betsey's model is wearing Stila Cosmetics - Onyx Kajal eyeliner ($18) and Convertible Color in Poppy ($25), both on the lips.

I'm not a big bronzer gal myself, but toned down the full lid of shimmery brown shadow and a peachy nude blush can look really soft. Back in the day this went hand in hand with a heavily shaded brow - I like how they left them natural at the Chloe show (pictured.) Try Smashbox eyeshadow in Sienna ($16), layered with Urban Decay Midnight Cowboy shadow ($14).

And the best for last - conceptual God John Galliano sent the ghosts of gypsies past down the runway for fall, and thanks to some equally masterful makeup artistry, models looked like abandoned childhood dolls left to freeze in a blizzard.

Eyeshadow was applied to the entire socket of each eye, with the inner corners and browbones highlighted with a dash of metallic cream to prevent a completely punched-out look. Cheekbones were carved out with plum powder and brought forward with cool metallic highlighter.

I'm really fascinated by the way it was done, so be on the lookout for a how-to in the future.
A great highlighter I recently tested? Smashbox 2-in-1 Luminizing Primer. ($34 for .98 oz.)

Friday

Give Me a Black Eye

Click image to enlarge in new window
[Clockwise from top left: Yigal Azrouel, Cavalli, Marc Jacobs, Marc Jacobs, Versace]

Dark and heavy - it's what many designers seem to have asked makeup gurus to deliver for Fall 2009, because it was all over the runways. This was not just a "smoky eye" - it was smoky, glossy, hard, reminiscent of both Egyptian royalty and proto-punk. Call it a cat eye if you will, but understand this is more the type that would maul you to death. You need attitude to rock this look, and not money.

Marc's girls wore Nars cosmetics (check out their "Night" series of shadows), applied by Francois Nars himself. Shocker since he hasn't worked a show in about a decade. People sure love Marc. Or he gives a mean BJ.
Azrouel's wore M.A.C. and Cavalli's went drugstore with Max Factor's 200 Calorie mascara piled on.

Just musing here: Maybe the vicious painted glare is their collective nod to the disasterous economy, the grittiness of life at the moment? With $50,000 dresses flying down the runway beneath these faces, it would appear (at least I would hope) to be an ironic juxtaposition.

Two More Designer Mega-Discount Sites

BillionDollarBabes.com is a members only site like Hautelook, etc. They only seem to have one sale at a time - today it's Chaiken at about 75-80% off.

BadJoan.com has a shop full of up-and-coming designer items for 80% off (Jenny Han, Colin Robertson). Enter your email and "Joan" sends you the coupon code to enter to get the sale price. Of all the member's sale sites, the prices here seem to be the lowest ($55 silk dresses!)

Lohan Tan (Sevin Nyne) Launches April 15

[Sevin Nyne campaign image via PeopleStyleWatch.com]

Ever look at Lindsay Lohan's fake-bake and think "I want that!"?
a.) You should be shot
b.) You can get her new tanning spray "Sevin Nyne" (I think that's probably really how she spells it) for $35 and your self-respect at Sephora.com on April 15 and in stores on May

Thursday

McQueen's Runway Terrors


[Photos by Giovanni Giannoni via WWD.com]

If you haven't already seen highlights from his show posted on the rest of the internet, take a moment to check out his Dave McKean drawing meets Amanda Lepore meets Pierrot clown meets Edward Scissorhands meets the bird exhibit at the zoo Fall 2009 collection from this past Tuesday at Paris Fashion Week.

McQueen, as you may have noticed, is always my most anticipated part of every fashion week. If he and John Galliano (my other hero) ever teamed up for a show I think my face might fall off. I. Love. Drama. And no one does it better.

While everything was truly conceptual and barely wearable outside a costume ball or a Broadway stafe, I do hope that mass-market textile designers take note of the incredible print featured on several of the dresses in which houndstooth deteriorates into a vicious swarm of birds. Also fantastic is his use of volume in the shorter jackets' sleeves and their huge scuptural lapels. But my favorite is a classic example of the "nightmare/fairytale" aesthetic he is so known for - a super goth harness bodiced dress with a leathery mass of skirt attached. Oh, to be Victoria Beckham.

Infomercial Beauty - Two Things That Actually Work



I'm one of the millions who have laughed at the fem-stache ridden Nads commercial and gagged at the foot nastiness of the Ped-Egg commercial. Clearly, boredom and insomnia have gotten the best of me, because I decided to try both out this past weekend. Surprisingly, I'd recommend either item - although neither lived up to ALL of the claims their late-night crap commercials made.

PedEgg - It's basically a cheese grater for your foot. So gross, but if you take off your boots after a long winter to find you have (tights-ripping, as the commercial shows) rough skin on your heels, you need one. You just rub it back and forth like your foot is a block of cheese and most of the dead skin lands in the container. Definitely leaves a smoother surface than one of those "shaver" thingies, but if you have super thick calluses you might need to start off with one of those before you get Ped-Egging.
What sucks? Gross "foot dust" falls out of the holes in the grater onto the floor if you don't hold it at the optimal angle at all times.
For $9.99 it's a great at-home pedicure tool, and the blades stay sharp for months. (A replacement pack of 3 blades is also $9.99.)
Buy it HERE (Target)

Nads - I've been at-home waxing off and on since late high school, so I've tried Nair wax (bad) and 6 different kinds of Sally Hansen (better) and while I've always gotten the job done well enough, I've been burned and stuck with impossible to remove wax mess all over myself and the bathroom more times than I can count.
Nads is sticky as hell and does not need to be heated. This means that theres no risk of burn, but also that it is hard to spread. If you dont go in the direction of the hair and slowly, you'll be in pain. It is strong, so a good solid rip will get just about every follicle. Since it is water soluble, you can also just rinse away the excess. The strips of cloth are meant to be re-used a few times as well, so they can be rinsed clean too - no sticky residue.
It's pricier than Sally by about 2x at close to $20, but worth it for the time and hassle you save.
Buy it HERE (Amazon)

Friday

More High-End, Low-Priced Action to Come

Net-a-Porter, the premiere online shopping destination for super expensive designer garb, is launching a sister site for those of us lighter in the bank account: theOutnet.com.

Yes, it sounds like a gay dating site. Yes, the tagline is something my mom would have come up with. But the premise sounds pretty sweet: designer labels at 40-60% off, and they'll be selling smaller labels as well as the majors. If you go now, you can sign up yourself and a friend, and you'll get an email when the launch is approaching. All we know so far is that it will be next month.

Thursday

Pugh Working on Shoes and Makeup, Still No Word on Dior Gig

Above: British designer Gareth Pugh Inset: "Jack Fairy"

Goth couture sensation Gareth Pugh is said to be hard at work on two new ventures - a shoe line and his own brand of cosmetics. Meanwhile the designer teeters on the verge of taking over Dior Homme.
[Images by Ellis Scott via WWD.com]

His Fall 2009 RTW collection in Paris yesterday had some critics' panties in a bunch because he chose to do it as a short film instead of a traditional live production. Looks were very Barbarella by way of Edward Gorey. I'm loving the asymmetry in the jackets, the a-line cape silhouettes and the narrow trousers. Nothing that hasn't been shown 50 times already on runways of late, but I'm not going to lie - I kind of love this kid. If for no other reason, he bears a striking resemblance Jack Fairy from the Todd Haynes movie "Velvet Goldmine."

Tuesday

Christian Siriano Gets Fierce With Payless; Spears Loves Candies

Project Runway peacock Christian Siriano is only just showed his first for-real RTW line at New York Fashion week this spring, and already he's expanding into the "fast fashion" game. This September Payless will feature the designer's first stab at shoe design with a 5-pair collection (2 ankle booties, 3 hidden-platform pumps) and two coordinating handbags.

Get a sneak peek at the shoes his designs will be inspired by here.

Boyfriend is following in the footsteps of Lela Rose, Abaete and Patricia Field, who have all dabbled in the cheapo shoe game with Payless collections.

------

Keeping with their "slutty blond chick" advertising tradition, Candie's (now sold at Kohl's) has paid Britney Spears a bazillion dollars to be the face of their hideous clunky shoes. Former spokes-skanks include Jenny McCarthy and Hayden Panettiere.

Seriously? Britney can't be that broke. Even she's above a Candie's campaign.